Readers, I need to give a short disclaimer:
Many of the things I write may seem all the way "out there". In review it probably seems that I have a BIG Chemical Imbalance issue beyond repair. Now what I want to say to that is-You are Probably Right!! Now that you have wrapped your skull around that, read with caution, or at least an open mind.
I hurt someone that I deeply love and I am paying for it dearly now. Sadly, I don't even remember what I did. But hearing about it has managed to make my soul cringe and my heart beg for mercy. What is even more sad is how this incident made me see things for what they really are! Can you say 90 degree change overnight?? That's me. Singing: Lawd, I know I've been changed!! I love this person dearly and will spend the rest of my life showing them this fact.
One of my Pals is secretly planning a mission to abandon her "someone-not-so special" I hope that her plan works. I'd like to see the fire lit in her spirit infusing the warmth that used to be there.
One of my Pals wants to sleep wih another Pal. However Pal A is somewhat needy and Pal B has too much crap going on, so I pray to whichever God is working for me these days to NOT let that come to pass.
One of my Pals is dating a cuddly something. But we are not sure if they are REALLY dating. They haven't been on a real date yet. Everytime they are supposed to spend some alone time, he pulls a disappearing act. Just like the movie (or book). Then he stays missing, until "Rambunctious" puts him on a facebook blast or turns into a small wine dispenser within herself. But lately he is making more and more guest appearances. Ya know, like Urkel did on Family Matters. I pray he becomes a regular, and not like the little sister on the show who went upstairs and never comes down, for (RANT: For 23 years I waited for that girl to come down the staris. She. Never. Did).
One of my Pals had been dating a "questionable person" who took it upon himself to send me a "booty call invite" about an hour after he and my Pal left my house. Then ya'll he had the nerve to ask me to Bring a Bottle! WTH!? Are you kidding me? So I will take my hard earned money away from my household to buy a bottle to bring to your place to sleep with you?? Do you know who I am? You sackless-crabby patty! I am hurting for my friend though; because she cared(cares) for him. Who wants to find out that the object of your affection is a sleeze-bag from their close friend?? Not me said the Working Girl (but not in a nasty way) Why, in 2010 are dudes still trying to pull fast ones? You won't tear down this group of friends. We are real. We are united; and we don't give a _________!!!!
One person, who I thought was Pal; decided to create a romance with she and I in it as an item. What in THE hell? I never came at this chick that way. I am not attracted to her or her drama. Go-go Gadget Delete from everything. (Sidebar, I am notorious for cutting people all the way off. I will let you go in a NY minute if I feel that you will cause me or mine any harm)
Oh yeah, let me NOT forget that one of the sisters has been RX'd some shampoo for a skin condition which is causing her hair to fall out. She says she has to put tape on her work chair so the hair doesn't stick to her butt. I am processing all of this as I sit here in the office, watching the Blonde in front of my cry b/c her widdle boyfriend didn't want to see her this weekend, and use my scarf to cover the scratches on my neck from Sunday's INCIDENT. Surely this is NOT the Real World that I am living in. This same Sister now calls me "Lifetime Movie" when we speak...and I call her, affectionately "TLC Channel".
If I haven't learned anything else this week it is:
1. Don't sweat the small stuff
2. Have no expectations-Do all that you do out of the willingness and love in your heart.
3. If you mess up, say you are sorry. But that is not the end, you must show it; not once but over and over again until your new character's reference is sooo strong that it makes the old null and void.
4. If you choose to stay in a situation, you don't get to be resentful. You chose to stay, now you must work at it to make it WORK.
5. Love is more complicated than you can ever describe. It forces you so far out of yourself sometime that when you look back, sometime even you don't recognize you.
Be Well Kings and Queens :)
Liz, I pray that these peek-a-boos of disappointment and frustration are short lived for you all your pals. I feel your anguish in the pal situation. I had a pal whom I hung with every so often, then one day he just deleted me-from his life. No joke. This was about 2 weeks ago and still to this day, despite my inbox messages, text messages, and phone calls, to no avail have I been informed as to why my Pal license has been revoked. Confused, then upset, yes at first, but now all I wish for him (and I texted him this) is happiness and balance. Like you said in one your previous blogs, balance is something you seek and I think we are all at this point in our lives where the balance has been halted because we now have more responsibilities AGAIN (being/turning 30) and our priorities need some revision. Like I told you before your stories are inspiring and I wish you luck with your honey. I'm sure as she see your re-transformation, things will transform for you too in due time. Peace, Love, and Hair grease. KJo
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