Love Mis-Connection

I really don't know where to start with this one. Please feel free to plug your device into my brain to extract all of the data that I wish to share. Oh, what? You can't download the files? They're corrupt? ooooh ok, I see. I guess I will have to spill the beans then.

Without fail my girls and I will find our way into a conversation about dating, love and expectations. It usually starts with us sitting in the "Trio" living room with our assortment of spirits randomly discussing our week. Then someone else will chime in, and the conversation will have this unique ripple effect stimulating an array of ideas and meaningful dialog.

Most recently while Talya, Ray and I were sitting in our living room (hence "the trio") we began to ask Ray a few questions about her new guy friend. He'd been by a few days in a row and he even played guitar for June and I to have an impromptu singing groove session. He seemed withdrawn, timid, smart, scary and cool all at the same time. You know he looked like "I don't want to be a murderer but I will be a murderer if I'm bored that night." In retrospect (again) I wish I wouldn't have asked Ray so many questions about this dude who we affectionately have nicknamed "Jonas" (as in Brothers); because the information that she shared next was hilariously strange! She said in the midst of sex he literally stopped and said "promise me you won't cheat." What the EFFIN-F-Pop!!?? So many thoughts swirled through my mind *negro when did we get into a committed relationship?* After Talya and I looked in disbelief, the laughter seemed to pour from us all in the same manner that the wine was magically entering our cups. Sadly, Ray was not joking. What's all the more funny is her answer to him: "umm sure I promise."

As time passed we started to see less and less of Jonas but he seemed to call more than a Collections Agent, Parole Officer and a Baby Mama looking for child support all in one. He started to appear clingy and spineless. Was he the woman in the non-existing relationship? Hmmmm......Now this wasn't our only topic for discussion. I had to discuss the woman who called AND text messaged me at 4:17 in the morning on the freakin' 4th of July. This woman continued to call me that entire day demonstrating her neediness and pathetic desperation. Then when I finally sent a response it was via text and simply said "Why did you think it was ok to text me so early in the morning?" The girls found this part of the discussion a bit more amusing than I did. Maybe because they weren't the ones being phone stalked. I mean who calls someone that they've JUST met that early in the morning on a holiday? Ugh clingy, inconsiderate and insecure people drive me insane. (I sure hope that when I grow up I become sane *sniggles*)


After we shared our stories and disbursed into our separate living quarters I started to survey all of my single friends and how we approach dating. Our approach and outlook is NOTHING like that of the movies, or like our older family members. It is truly laissez-faire. We are so secure in our skin doing our own thing that everyone is ALWAYS trying to get in our mix. We're reinvented the model that tells young women that their only purpose in life is to be someone's wife and mother (not that there is anything wrong with that, and quite frankly it is admirable...but that's not our only option). It's almost like we are so used to the low-pits of "southern" dating that we would almost rather not bother. There have been people seriously interested in me, but I am so engulfed in my family life, my work and my projects that I simply don't have the time. I think I purposely stay so exhausted with my daily life so that I can remain focused and not thrown off track by the "next best thing". And then, I just don't feel like babysitting another human being. I don't want to convince anyone of who they are and what they mean to me. I don't feel like sharing all my dirty secrets AGAIN to have them thrown back in my face. I don' feel like someone giving me the 10th degree when I don't answer my phone that I pay for. When did things become so complicated? Why can't two people be attracted to one another on a multi-dimensional level and make things work? Does anyone value the personal space of others anymore? Is everyone crazy, or is it just me, my friends and the people that we meet?

I wish I had the answers to these questions. But we all know that I am coming up short. If only people could be honest with themselves first, maybe they would walk into a situation and say "I am needy", "I am a basket case", "I am afraid of being cheated on", "I'm in love with Alf"....or whatever your thing is so that folks would at least know what they are getting themselves into. Because in the middle of intimacy or at 4:17 in the morning is MOSTLY NOT the time to tell someone who you are.

Not Cool

Isn't it funny how many people ignore you when they believe you are a nobody? Insignificant. Unpopular. Unattractive. Simply not cool.
I mean if you aren't shaking your ass, or degrading people in your art then you are absolutely irrelevant. Uninteresting. Unacceptable. Simply not cool.

I've never heard a child quoting Alice Walker or Sojourner Truth. Nah....they're just too busy quoting rap lines by thug-kind, hoping they don't get much time....behind bars. Leaving this generation with mind scars and a grand dream of fancy cars. As if that's all there is to life.

But it's OK. It's really OK. I've come to grips with being insignificant, unpopular, unattractive and simply not cool. And to the masses who believe that this is true you aren't worth the energy birthed from my loins in the first place in fact you are a disgrace and I turn my whole face. Because to the ear of the literary and to the soul of the intelligent, I am significant. I am phenomenal. I am interesting. I am magnificent.

I am history in the making.

Now how cool is that?

Why me?!

Why is it that when we go through things we always say "Why me?"

~Marinate~

As tempting as it is to start a small pity party, are we really that selfish? Do we really believe that things should flow perfectly in an imperfect world at a sub-perfect time? Oh I know where the idea stems: The media, the superficial chicks who do their best to create this facade of perfect peace and maybe the prison of our own minds. Be not dismayed-Every situation, every challenge is an opportunity for refinement. Every "NO" is but an opportunity to work toward "YES". But instead of drinking from the glass half full we chose to turn the glass over and spite it by sulking into a negative place. Then we place a label on it and medicate it hoping that we will feel better. But we never get better. Because there was never anything wrong with us in the first place. We are always asking the Most High for more but refusing the master the less.

Who told you that life would be easy?
How can 208 bones, 3 parts of equal flesh, soul and spirit and over 1 million arteries be easy?

Surely you jest and mock the very opportunity that you've been presented with! Surely you jest and mock our creator continuously.

You have an opportunity to overcome,  succeed and surpass skies and orbit amongst the greats. So "why not you?"

Why. Freakin'. Not. You?

Adjustment Bureau

Tonight I watched an interesting movie called: The Adjustment Bureau. I was completely impressed. The movie gave me everything that I crave, especially the higher order of intelligence. The Bureau claims to make subtle changes to our lives so that we stay on our destined paths. They claim to do this because humans lack the ability to make selfless, good and sound decisions. The Adjustment Bureau gave several examples to further drive home the point of why they do what they do. Then I started to think about this crazy world that we've created. Our world now is based on "things", and greed and power. We over-consume our natural resources and take things from others whenever we want it. Then we call it war. Then we come back and call it peace.

What if there were a real life Adjustment Bureau? Would we be better? Would our world be better? So many questions gathered in my brain. So many scenarios become present in my pysche. Then amidst all of the what-ifs I realized that we should be so thankful for our free will. We are allowed to do whatever we want. We are given the freedoms and the corresponding creativity to send a man to the moon and connect with family and friends thousands of miles away within a few seconds. But what do we do with it? Are we being our best? Are we making the most of our free will? How are we using our free will to make our earthly home a better place?

Almost immediately I began to pray. I said "Dear God thank you for my free will. I will do my best to never take it for granted again. Please guide my steps so that I don't make selfish and wreckless decisions." Peace quickly enveloped my spirit as though God had been waiting him or herself to hear me speak those exact words. You see, NOTHING in this world is absolutely free. Yes, surfacely we are provided with free will, but with every action comes a reaction. How many times have we used our free will to be selfish for all of the wrong reasons? How many times has our free willed decisions caused harm to someone or something?

While you are pondering these things and I hope that you will at least give this some thought, I ask that you be thankful for your free will. Be thankful for all of the liberties and luxuries that you have now. Stop taking your blessings for granted. Stop mocking God with your selfishness and false sense of entitlement, as He/She owes you nothing.

NOTHING

The game of life

When I think of life, I think of one of those video games which take forever to “win” or complete. Think about it: You spend your time trying to get to the next level. Many times you make the same errors over and over again; and those errors prevent you from going forward. Eventually after time and practice you begin to understand what you did wrong and how you can progress with grace. A similar synopsis happens as you move and groove from level to level. In fact you can remain at any given level for as long as you choose to ignore the essentials for moving forward. It’s only after practice, patience and precision that you finally reach the end of the game. Then once you master that series, you feel empowered, and if you are giving you will take the time to teach others how to master it and move forward. But a challenge hungry person knows that you never stop learning and that as long as you have breath in your body you must press on.

Let me leave you with this:


Remember friends, it doesn’t matter when you get to your finish line as long as you get there.

Stay in your lane. Perfect your mission based on God’s Will and the life choices that you’ve elected.

We will never master life. There will always be challenges. But the sooner we learn to operate in faith with a glass half full mentality the better our quality of life will be.
 
Peace and Blessings

Writing.....

was my second choice. I really wanted to be a singer. Except, when I sing I get so nervous that I forget words and lose my pitch completely. *sighs* Then one day when I was writing a song in the messy red book where I keep all of my random thoughts, poems and other stuff.........I realized that I wasn't actually writing a song. I was writing a story. The rest is becoming history.

I've written a book. I Elizabeth Goree wrote a book. This fact has become more and more real with each passing day. Yes, the process hasn't gone exactly as I dreamed it. But, it is teaching me patience and courage: Two attributes which have no price tag.

Simply explaining that I am thankful does this project no justice. Only the Most High could orchestrate such a victory. Now, my eyes are burning with the smell of tired and none of that seems to matter. It doesn't matter that when I am done working I will return home to a half cleaned room and a mountain of other tasks which need my attention. It also doesn't matter that I have a work week exceeding 60 hours ahead of me. As I look over at my new Personal Assistant, and listen to her share the ins and outs of my calendar, the only thing that I can do is smile.

We've come a long way baby.....and the best is yet to come. Stay tuned :)