Sweet Surrender

"Liz, maybe that was the only way HE could get your attention. Maybe that was the only way to get you to be still."-M.Carr

Last week I was sitting with some friends, laughing and eating and talking. I began to discuss how incompetent I'd been feeling after my fracture. I also explained how hurt I was after receiving a series of  "strange" text messages from someone that I genuinely care for. We started discussing all of the factors happening in my world i.e. Online studies, New HR class at a major University here in Houston, Work (yawns), and all of my "therapies." Soon, I found myself sad again. It's not that any of the things I've been going through are SOOOOOO rough. It's by their powers combined (*whispering* i am captain planet). When my libra scales are tilted I become counterproductive and depressed. I felt tears emerging and thus turned my face. At that moment one of the girls said: "Liz, maybe that was the only way HE could get your attention. Maybe that was the only way to get you to be still."

(Has anyone ever said anything to you and then the light bulb just goes off in your brain?)

Then my other friend (former Personal Assistant/outside-free-of-charge counselor/"should I get this bag or not?" helper) reminded me of how fast I'd been living. She reminded me of how I lost my job on the Friday before my birthday and how I had two interviews lined up that next Monday(10/10). And how I had two offers for work as I boarded the plane to London. And how I'd been moving and shaking and forcing things to go my way practically all year. She explained that I needed to SLLLLOOOOOOOWWW DOOOOOWWWWNNN. blah, blah, blickety-blah-erton.

Now, I need ya'll to know that wasn't the FIRST time I'd heard this. My sisters have told me. My co-workers have told me. My Father has told me. My roomies have told me. But this time, for whatever reason. I just got it. And let me take that back, there was a reason I got it. I had just hung up with my very faithful and spiritual friend since childhood. And she laid some heavy things on me, ending the call by promising to lift me in prayer. That night, was the first in many nights where I simply drifted off to sleep without the help of any sleep aids. (I'd been taking them to make my mind turn off at night so I could rest for about 2 weeks.) I haven't taken them since!!!

So what have I learned? (I swear I feel that ya'll are asking me that. Even if you are not, humor me. Oh yeah and this won't mean anything to people who don't know me personally.)

*clears throat and unfolds wrinkle paper with list*
1. You were my One for the Liz that I was. Not for the Elizabeth I'm becoming. I still love you ,and know you'll always be in my life. We both got what we needed, and I thank you so much. *warm embraces*
2. You were not here for our holiday party, you flew in to take care of me because that very night I needed you more than anything. *big smile*
3. It's not you, it really was me. I moved so fast that I forgot to process everything happening. I am so sorry I dumped all of my emotion on you. *I'll be upstairs soon*
4. Who knew that the week I delivered my past, I'd meet my future? I just know. Stay tuned. *12*
5. It's all about what you put out in the universe. The moment I started to acknowledge my need for healing and become proactive about being a better Elizabeth, life became fun again. I so love this "me".
6. You're only as good as your word.
7. It's OK to need people. It's OK to rely on them. It was my time to be the recipient. *happy feet*
8. If something is broken, it will NOT fix itself. You will have to do something about it, or it will remain fractured. *every week until The Spirit tells me to stop*
9. I am truly loved.
10. I forgive them. I forgive me. I don't have a resentful thought in my soul. *surrender all*

In case you are wondering why there are 10 points.....well that's because "Shawty right here is a ten."-Literally ;)

Be well Kings & Queens!!

A song for February

I surrender my need to be right.
I am thankful for my life.
Positive thoughts are inside.
I embrace my need to be kind.


Be well Kings & Queens. Do your best to stay on the upside of karma. Treat your fellow man with kindness and respect. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Keep your promises. Build bridges, don't burn them.

Selah