No Title Needed

I’ve been told I wouldn’t make it




I was told I would never see that place



I was told that sometime I fake it



I was told “You weren’t always that way”







I was told that if I didn’t shut up, I wouldn’t make it a day over 21



I was told after years of devotion, that actually I wasn’t the “one”



I was told that I wasn’t good enough



Told that I just made that story up







I’ve been told that no one would want me, with all my extra curves



I was told that the reason that I was crying, is because I was getting what I deserved



I’ve been accused of saying and doing things which never came to mind



I was told that I was cheating, but to this date, I never have…and really? Why?



I was told that my friendship with she and she and he and he, was all a sham



I was pointed at, laughed and accused of being a limelight stealing ham







I’ve been picked on, spoken to completely out my name



Beaten so badly, scorn so roughly, it caused me enormous shame



I’ve been laughed it, pointed at, and lied to in my face



I’ve been tormented, robbed, even kicked out my own place







But in spite the assumptions, accusations, lies, pain, torture, broken promises and misunderstanding; there has always been light. Light and promise have always kept me through.



I cannot pretend that I didn’t have help, encouragement, whimsy and people who loved me too.



Those who did what they said they would, those who confronted me when I did something to cause them hurt, those who gave me prayers, clothes, money, popsicles and vehicles. Those who were secure enough to trust me to be me, without shrinking in the shadows. Those who when they said “I love you” the feeling enveloped me creating a sheer place of peace.







My point is, I don’t care what people say to you, think of you, accuse you of, over analyze what they think you mean; over time a person’s true character comes out----and when you can line up a room full of people who’ve known you for 20 years, who will do nothing but sing your praises----when you can have an event and people go to great lengths to get there because your company is enjoyed, and you sowed that seed-------when you have to call out your friends, and soon your hands don’t have enough fingers--------when you can look at a list of reference letters from employers which proclaim your smarts and most importantly----- when you are true to yourself, know who you are and know where you are going, nothing, no one, no obstacle can keep you from greatness!! No one can tell you that you are nothing less than great; and I won’t hear of anything less.







.

Out of my control

My thoughts are all over the place right now. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Interestingly, I am tired of doing both, so I will just do what I do best; write.

Writing is such a release for me. It allows me to get lost between the jargon and the punctuation and somehow come out refreshed and please.

So, good people, where shall I start this time?

Recently, I acquired a new friend, or at least someone who I hope will become a friend. She is educated, creative and well spoken. But above all these things we share the same sign. Gooo Libras!! Normally, I don't gel with a person that quickly. But, I feel she is a kindred spirit; now I could be wrong, but if I am then, at least I will know that I served my purpose. She is going through some things right now. The young lady whom she was involved with has decided to seperate from her. Now, this has made my new friend quite unhappy, because she felt that the relationship had such great promise and doesn't really understand how things went from good to bad so abruptly.

This type of situation happens all the time, and frankly, I am in one similarly. The whole topic has me wondering:

If you are truly unhappy in a relationship, are you supposed to stick it out so as not to hurt the other person?

If you say that you will try to make things work, shouldn't you go above and beyond to show the other person that you are really doing your best?

And, finally, who measures your best?-I mean if someone is truly exhausted, their best may be relative to their current mental state and may NOT measure up to what we feel it should be.

What do we make of all this? Heck, what do I make of all this? I guess love is again one of those unanswered matters that we can ponder and debate on infinitely, only to realize that we haven't gotten very far at all.

Somewhere in my mind and heart, I believe that when the cosmos align properly (timing is right) and the opportunity is right, and the right people are involved, love will prevail. But, rarely does it work when the situation is one sided. You cannot MAKE A PERSON WANT YOU, OR LOVE YOU OR WANT TO MOVE FORWARD WITH YOU, OR SPEND TIME WITH YOU. In fact the more you push and try to control a situation, the worse it becomes. Resentment, hate and bitterness are usually the next stops.

People find a way to do whatever it is that they want to do. I have seen people swear that they have no time for someone who loves them; but turn right around and spend that same time with someone else.
I have dated people who just did not quite cut the mustard, and then months later, they are walking down the ailse with someone. My point is, if we are NOT the one, then we are not the one. No amount of tears, poems, text messages or prayers can make it so. Yes, it hurts like hell to know that the person you love or care about does not feel the same way about you. But, I would rather find out about it now, before the car loan, and the mortgage, and the kids, and the pictures and the parties. I don't know where life is going to take me, or some of my "relationship-limboed" friends; but I do know that I am going to be true to me. If something doesn't feel right, I won't do it. If I keep extending myself, only to be turned down or slapped in the face by an array of broken promises and tosses to the back burner, between this activity and that one, I will remove myself from the situation; because as I previously stated, life is too short to be unhappy.

You've just been served!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t claim to know everything, but I do know that life is too short to be unhappy. It is too short to do things that bring you pain with absolutely no gain at the end. It is too short to worry about things that we have no immediate control of.


My girls and I definitely understand that concept immensely. Of course, this fact has become one of the staples of my life. “Be happy”.

Last night, I was planning to do what I’ve become quite accustomed to doing; and that is to take myself on a date. I take myself out for several reasons:

1. I enjoy my own company. I like to just be at peace, doing my own thing. It also has been instrumental in helping me meet new people.

2. The person whom I’d been involved with, did not find many things that I liked important or interesting enough to go; and she also has a small child to which care options were not always available.

3. I am a free spirit. I can be laying in bed and be certain that I would be in the house for the night; and then something may strike me that says “Liz, let’s get out of the house” and when that happens I go. Rarely is anyone ever able to move to that beat and join me, so I move to my own groove and enjoy myself. Also, I don’t always think to invite people, because I am always moving so fast.

Anyway, so I was planning to take myself on a date, and a few text messages and calls later, I was reminded of my buddy’s 30th birthday, and that we promised to show her a nice night. Additionally, another friend was planning to be in the same spot before she visited a dreaded establishment; so all was well in Liz-Land. I was on my way.

Before long, I was dressed in usual attire, which generally consists of um, jeans, a sweater or graphic tee, some bangles, HUGE earrings, some funky sandals or tennis shoes. I thought I looked pretty nice, and within no more than 8 minutes, I was at the spot.

Eventually one shiny face after another arrived. Everyone looked so beautiful and had their own style and part to play.

I was able to speak with one friend in particular about her goals, and the influence that art had on her life. I found myself completely drawn in to the conversation, as I had so desperately been longing for intellectual stimulation. She is in every fashion, a typical, yet extraordinary Libra.



Then the friend who would soon be celebrating her 30th birthday seemed to really be in peace as she downed her 2nd or 3rd drink, this one affectionately being named “blow job”. We all cheered her on to “suck-suck-suck”. I am laughing as a type this, but, behind every laugh, sometime resides a tear or two. This friend is smack dab in the middle of a separation, soon to be divorce, from her cheating and disrespectful husband and child’s father. Most recently, she’d rejoined the team and we needed her just as much as she needed us.

A few grapes later, we were all gelling, taking pictures, and laughing at the gentlemen who kept finding their way to where we were.

Of course the night would not be a true testimate to who we are, if the following didn’t happen:



Old fling, who was sometimes gay, then sometimes straight arrived. I greeted her with a huge and FAKE smile, unfortunately, this was all I had in my bag of tricks. That was my attempt to be cordial but to remind her that we had nothing to talk about. She was NOT with us, because either you are with us, or you are not!! “If you aint first, you last*laughing*

Big ugly face that used to date “Tia” (that’s what we’ll call her) brought his tired tail and his Ole-Down-By-The-Riverside looking new-boo, with her 84 year old name. *fail* (I even recall making a small spiritual hymn about her name).

Another friend kept attracting downright liars to the area. I heard one say he owned a gym and a basketball court, wth?? But his body was well, uh….moving on….



As time began to gallop, so did the noises from our stomachs. We were hungry and we wanted some, extra fat, please never change the grease, spicy wings, from “That Place”. Within about 20 minutes of deciding that we all wanted to go there, we were up and gone. I am serious; it was like a small army was answering to a silent, yet public call of attack.

Once we arrived at “That Place” and ordered our individual “heart attack meals of death and doom”; we sat, still trying to be cute, though there were just 10 people there and we accounted for 7 of those. Soon, the hood music was playing and my inner, yet well-known spirit came out.

Well, in addition to my hood spirit encouraging me to do all the dances in my head, was also a 41.5 year old woman who was pop-locking and dropping like a woman who had just exited jail, hell or hospice. She was doing the MOST. The girls attempted to emulate her dance moves as jokes, but Ms. Optimus Prime Face, saw this as a threat and began to “Serve” everyone with her “hits from the 90’s” dance moves and grooves. The girls soon realized that they were NO match her Queen Non-Dancliness….they accepted their fate and sat down, just in time to receive the grub.

Within minutes of getting the grub (hmmm, imagining that ever lingering smell of fried foods in my clothes now) the owner came out with 7 shot glasses.

*insert scary faces*

(Secret Prayer: Baby Jesus, please let this cup pass)-LITERALLY



The drink was called a “Chocolate Cake”. We all took the shots and allowed the temporary paralysis to take over our body from the excessive drinking of the night/week/month.



The Owner whispered in my ear “You always support whatever I do, so why wouldn’t I support you?” That was very sweet to hear.



In typical Liz fashion, I attempted to sneak out of the establishment, because I was so sleepy. I exited quickly, and jumped in the truck. Half way home, on the freeway, which was busy for some reason at a late hour, I realized that the truck was not driving normally; and remembered that because I parked on a hill, I executed the emergency brake. So I used my yellow chuck to push the brake in, hoping it would pop up. It did not. I immediately began to over analyze and exaggerate what was happening in my head. I was so scared. I did not want to call daddy. And I also didn’t want the pocket sized dragon that I just imagined to eat me. So, I phoned a friend. (giggling so much right now) The girls were planning to call the cavalry and rescue me, as usual, from myself. Then my Ace in the effin hole told me what to do in an Operators voice like she was at the Original Henry Ford Plant in Michigan. It worked!! Thank God almighty, it worked!!

Soon I was safe and sound in my new Wonder Woman PJ’s laughing at myself, until I fell asleep.



Let me leave you with this:

Life is so good, especially when you have kindred spirits at your side. And if for some reason you are just starting your journey and feel like a Lone Ranger, if you are confident and open minded, it will only be a matter of time before you attract kindred spirits as well.

Je ne sais pas (I don't know)

In between working, and doing whatever it is that Elizabeth does; there are times where memories flood my brain like a runneth over creek. Sometime the memories are really grandiose and bring a smile to my brown face. Then sometimes the memories come over me like a grey cloud hovering in the atmosphere, not really causing distress, but reminding me that it could cause distress if the right winds blow.


But today, I am grinning from ear to ear as I think about a simpler time and place:

I am not certain the year or the exact month, but I am sure it was the mid 80’s and it must have been early summer in New Orleans, Louisiana. My baby sister and I would be shipped to Louisiana every single summer, and every single school break. This is where the maternal side of my family lived/lives and we would always have a completely different experience every time we go.

Flow with me, as I paint the picture engraved in my heart and soul…this is one picture that the water did not erase-

Ellen and I slept in the most adorable pajamas, perched across either a bed or a pallet in Gramo’s room. The window would be open, only bearing the screen. The breeze would flow in across the Mississippi River, down into the lower ninth ward, and into our window, creating a small dance across our faces and into the curls which rested on our heads.

Then, amidst the breeze and the calmness of the moment, we would hear a shout in the not-so-far-away distance “Vegetables! Come get your vegetables!”. This was just the alarm clock that we needed. Up, we would hop, to ask Grandmama for some change so that we could meet the Fruit and Vegetable man outside and get whatever our hearts desired. Of course, she would arm us with shiny coins and send us into the street. There we would wave down the man with his truck and huge amounts of fruits and vegetables visible from his cab. I don’t remember what all we would buy, but I can remember seeing my Aunt Mildred a few houses down watering her lawn, and waving at the girls from Texas. It was morning and the jazz playing and the friendly faces outside, most of whom were family, was a strong indication of such.

Back thru the gate and up the porch stairs, we would race; and back into the room where we would rest. The smell of strong Café’ Dumond Coffee with Chicory would be brewing in an old tin coffee pot. The smell would began to draw us in.

Ding-Dong-Ding-Dong, and at the door, as timely as a clock himself, was a tall, brown Uncle Brother. He had the smoothest skin, and the most beautiful grey locks of curls in his head. He was a handsome, manly, man. This was grandmama’s brother and he came to visit the house every morning, on foot, with his Times Picayune, Newspaper, tucked neatly under his arm. Grandmama would pour him some coffee and at the table, they would sit and laugh about the “good old” days. He taught me to play checkers when I was eight years old.

Within an hour, some of the other family would come down to sip coffee, eat cinnamon rolls and just talk about the issues of the hour.

Ellen and I would come out and sit on a lap or two, laugh and mostly amuse them with our Texas accent with every word spoken, from our small voices.

I am so blessed. I knew all of Grandmama’s sisters and brothers. They all, except 2 of the 8, lived in the lower ninth ward, in walking distance of one another. They all had their own stories to tell, and they all had there own way of touching my life.

Sometime, when I go back to visit New Orleans to see the handful of family still there, I come down Claiborne Street (Highway 90), over that rickety bridge and come down the street where my Grandmama used to live. There is nothing there but stumps, grass, abandoned boats and some new art-deco homes being built in an effort to completely remove the memory of what, once was.

I do not have very many pictures of my family from that street. In fact, very few of us do. You see, when the waters rose, they didn’t just take away people’s homes, it attempted to eradicate our very existence. It attempted to remove the fact that once upon a time, we were there; and we were happy.



Dedicated to the: Broussards, Josephs, Lapages and Quests.

I love you all!

Wedding Dress

I wonder if I will ever wear a wedding dress. I mean, I can barely stand dresses….on me that is. I’ve been married once, engaged at least twice and still I have never put worn a wedding gown. Well that is, outside that time, I tried it on in New Orleans, planning my own big day, which never happened after all.


If, I do get a chance to wear a wedding dress, who will be at my side? Who will watch me as I stride down the ailse, or up some stairs or beside a watery path? Will you be there?

What’s in a dress? Aside from all of the lace, and draped uncomfortable fabric, what really is the point of a dress? And underneath the dress, fitting closely to my body is all of the shapewear and garments to ensure that everything remains in its place as I flow freely with my wedding dress on.

I wonder if I will ever wear a wedding dress.

Breaking Point

I have worked hard and equally played as hard my whole life. I always knew that I was special and that the world would hear my voice in one means or another. It is that anointing on my life that I believe has kept me safe and always well cared for.

This year, this 2010...the year I always waited for (my birthday was 10.10.10) is quickly coming to a close. This year has not even remotely gone the way that I plan. I've been thru some challenges. Some of these challenges, at one point left me gasping for air and wondering if I would ever come out of the darkness.

But now as I am breaking, coming out of the darkness, one bold foot in front of the other I am thankful for every broken promise, every loss of treasure, every feeling of lack....because those things shook me to my core and made me see what was/is really important in my life.

Now, before you go forward, you must realize that the things which are important to me, may not be the same for you. You may also be wondering why or how I feel that I am broken; so allow me to explain:

My belief system has been broken. The very bedrock to which my soul rests has been shaken so badly that it actually cracked and is now unstable. This means that now, I have no preconceived notions about anyone or any situation. I no longer believe that because you are an adult that you will know who you are or where you are going. I know longer believe that finding God means going to church or to jail. I no longer believe that love is enough.

These things are helping to re-mold me in a better, stronger and more open minded spirit being in a physical body. With these gifts of rebirth, I plan to properly leave my legacy on this earth. You may not like my methods or what I have to say, but that has nothing to do with my purpose and my journey.

So you see, a breaking point is not bad. It is only bad if you opt to remain broken, crumbled and disconnected from the universes mighty realm.

My mind is mine

It’s like we take 2 steps forward and you push us back eight


And we discuss this thing and tomorrow you’re back only to say….

And you swear this would never happen, but I just give you time;

And what I say soon ALWAYS comes to sight.



Psychic nope. Just familiar with the ways of this world, and the ways of the chaotic mind.

See. I. Used. To. Be. Just. Like. You.

But it’s all good and sweet and completely neat, I just sit back and watch you create these ideas which don’t seem to come to fruition….watch you pretend it’s all me and condition yourself to believe that without me, you’d be happy. Would you? Try it….if you please. Because at the end of the day, I really want you to be happy. I want to see your name among the stars. I want to know that everything you set out to do happened, suddenly because I am no longer there to persuade you to finish what you start and plan thru.

Sometime I fear that my love isn’t good enough anyway. You reject my ideas, turn my serious into childs play. You turn my decent thoughts into something un-pure. Because in your mind, you are just soooo sure. You turn my good intentions into as you so eloquently say “Bull shit”. But hey, maybe, maybe it isn’t me that’s psychic…maybe it was you all the time. I don’t know. In my mind, I just try. I just tried.

Houston, we have a problem

Houston, we have a problem! Yes, you finally got the memo of the seasons change. But when the seasons changed the priorities changed and the demographic shifted with the democratic and we are yet, right back at square one. No healthcare, childcare or educational fund. I just don’t understand son!


We have time to play on facebook

Time to ask others about someone else’s facebook

Time to play text and roulette

Time to shine the rented tires up to get someone “sprung”

Time to steal from your flesh and blood to continue a habit

Time to scream and cuss, though you claim to be a Christian, a Muslim, hanging with the Gents…

Time to ensure that your hair is did and your nails and brows fit the bill

Time to discuss what she had on last week and why you wouldn’t have wore it

Time to discuss the last time you got wasted and “tweeted” about it simultaneously

But no time to take a stand. No time to deliver a message of peace and deliverance. No time to serve your fellow man. No time to give God his glory. No time to seek tranquility, liberty and justice for all. No time to get your home in order. No time to start a new. No, no, no time.

I digress.

My words are falling on deaf ears. Ears that only hear the lyrics of Crime and Drug Lords idolized on the radio; LOL “Larry Hoover”. Ears that only remember what someone said or did to them. Ears that only hear cussing and fussing as the only way to solve a quarrel. Ears, who’ve been told “no” so long that they believe it and now they are saying NO.

No in deed

No in spirit

No in attitude

No in power

No in time…………….

Houston, we really have a problem….and time is running out.

Octobre' Seis

I am in for the night after exercising for my third day straight. (woo hoo, I can hear cheerleaders coming out of my left ear) Usually, I would be tired after such a day, but for some reason I am bursting with energy and eager to leave my mark somewhere. You may be saying “oooh 3 days”. Well three days is a big for me. See I’ve fought with my weight for close to 13 or 14 years now. I have faced defeat. I’ve cried as I have tried to wear things that looked like they were my size, but clearly meant for someone who did not have all of my extra curves. I have beat myself up when I didn’t measure up to the standards of others, or when I didn’t make my goals in most of the diets that I’ve tried. I pray, genuinely, that this time will be different. Something in my core says that it will be. See, I didn’t begin this with big fanfare, whistles and expensive gym memberships. This time I am “going in” simply for my health. I want to live a long robust life. I want to see all four oceans. I want to help build churches in other lands. I want to feed the hungry. I want to taste the cultures of many people. I want to lend a hand in a place where they chop and bind hands. I want all that God promised me, when he said I will prosper even as my soul prospers. I know that once I get my temple right and prepared for servitude, that my territory will be expanded and I will be trusted to dig into new depths and soar to new highs.


So much has transpired since we last spoke. Many, many changes. I am still in peace and working to maintain it every single day. I have learned a few things:

1. Anything or anyplace, or anyone that takes you out of your peace should be removed from the equation.

2. We are all miracles (in the words of Jill Scott) and life is too short to do anything that doesn’t edify who we are, and our purpose.

3. We really do reap what we sow. Every action, every single step is a seed. Thus when things return to us, as opposed to simply blaming the Devil or someone else, perhaps we should look at ourselves first.

4. Humility is free, but the process and the experience is very expensive.

I am learning to be patient, and to allow others to help me when needed. I am learning to take care of me, carefully, and delicately. Most of all I am so thankful for all of the lives that touch mine. Whether it be on a daily basis or we speak every few months; the encouragement and well wishes have enveloped me in such warmth and solace. I am so, so, thankful to:

• My friends who just got engaged- Thank you for showing me that commitment and love still exists in this crazy world. Most of all, thank you for showing the children this.

• My friend who keeps going on interviews in spite being turned down, time after time- Thank you for showing me your determination.

• My Sister who suggest that we start exercising- Thank you for motivating me.

• My Parents for helping me, no, nursing me back to health- There aren’t enough words to say how I really feel, so thank you for being unconditionally supportive through it all.

• My friend who rescued me from a situation that had my in agony- Thank you for being there where I needed you.

• The one who acted like my nurse the past few days- Thank you for helping me when I was too ill to take care of myself. I love you very much.

I am appreciative of many others, but the list would wrap around me and this computer triple times. But most of all, I am thankful to a song by Frankie Beverly and Maze. The beginning line says “I’ve got myself to remind me of love”. I don’t take this song to mean that we shouldn’t let others love us; I just understand it to mean that we must love ourselves first. Once we do that, we will quickly be able to recognize it when we see it and damn sure know when we don’t.

Journey

Last night was rough....I tossed and turned for at least two hours. A varied assortment of thoughts swirled around my brain: Did I forget my cell charger? How will my next home look?...In fact that thought got so much of my energy that I could even see my red tea pot on the stove as it has been in all my homes for about the last 5 years. It's something like a "Liz Trademark". I wondered if "she hated me", or if "she" would take responsibility for where we were now. I wondered if the "little one" was ok and I thought of his smile; and wished she would have heard me when I saw this coming. I wondered how long it would take Steph and I to fill the Geology roles, or if we'd fill them at all. (Of course we will, of course, I secretly reassured myself)  Then I thought about the next day, and how I would go buy another book or at least visit the Library to sit in the quiet atmosphere and read until my eyes grew heavy in total peace. I decided to pray. I wanted to do just as my parents taught me as a small girl; just give it to God. So, somewhere between the window treatments that I imagined for my next home, and the resume's that I scanned in my mind, I started to pray. I gave my Heavenly Father all of the heartbreak, abandonment, theft, disappointment, abuse and health challenges that I'd ever experienced. Suddenly a sense of peace started to come over me and before long, sleep became my destination.

This morning, I woke up with a new feeling of relief. I enjoyed a quiet breakfast. In fact, not one person asked me for anything today. No one needed anything of me. It was so serene. I knew that today would be different from the rest, somehow, someway. So it began: Suddenly, I had a heavy pouring of phone calls with opportunities galore. As the time progressed, I made the right connections and found myself starting down a path of prosperity, once again. Next week will be a journey in itself, but it's all for a good cause.

I don't understand why certain things happen, or why I am at this very moment in time. In fact, I've been called stupid for allowing my life to spiral this far out of my control. I've been called heartless. I've been called selfish. But the bottom line is, that as much love as I have in my heart for some, I really do love me more. If something or some situation has me disturbed, I am responsible to the God in me to take care of me. I have given so much of me, so much of my time, energy and resources to situations that have managed to leave me drained to the 8th power. But that's the person that I am..."all or nothing"...I still believe in giving my all, whatever my all is at the time. And, even at the end, I have no regrets, just pain, frustration and a hollow place close to my heart.

Going forward, I vow to take better care of my investment.
I vow to only be involved in situations where peace and productivity are promoted.
I vow to take my time before making life changes, so that I don't hurt myself or others.
I vow to feel secure and safe and if for some reason, I do not, whether it be in my physical, mental, spiritual or financial state--I will make a move.

This journey is to make me better so that I can serve my purpose with the success that my Heavenly Father intended.

(P.S.-The trashy blog will be next-LOL)

Good Evening...and Happy Labor Day all. It's been at least three weeks since we last spoke. Believe me, I have quite a bit of material...but I aint drunk enough to write. So stand by, it'll be worth it.


Peace

Light and Love

Dear beautiful, adventurous world of crap,
Soooooo much has transpired since we last spoke. How are you? How's the family? Now that we've gotten past the pleasantries, we all know that I really don't care how you are, or how your family is....because the answers to those questions are relative to the day and your mood. By the end of our chat you may feel completely different, hell, we may not even be friends by the end of this.

My feelings are all over the place and then no place at all. But one thing is for sure, I am in a place of peace. Not that total transcending peace that the bible talks about quite yet. Just at peace. Many things have been revealed to me this past week. Many new opportunities have come forth. And of course with all of those things come a varied assortment of challenges, which all revolve around the Almighty Dollar. But as much as I like money....and I do like money, I have a big smile on my face. I am sitting here in an old raggedy dress, fro is unkept, a portion of my eyebrows have seemingly come off, my teeth haven't been brushed, and my toe nails look like something from a horror flick. In case you are still confused, I look a hot-funky McMess!! But I am soooo thrilled. This is the end of a rough patch in my threads of life.

Sidebar: I see life as a huge quilt. The quilt has many patches, patterns and plans. It could begin on one path and end up someplace totally different, depending on the people involved, the intent and circumstance of the Quilter.

My quilt is a multi colored, ecclectic, incomplete, beautiful thing. It displays all of my travels, tears, victories, successes and hurt. It looks just like me. It goes with everything and then nothing at all.

Things are about to change for me. I am about to learn new things, sing new songs and invite new Quilters to my circle and I am embracing it with such pleasure.What will be, will be.

I saw "Eat, Pray, Love" last week with my Other Mom and one of my 3 sisters. It was such a great experience having read about 3/4 of the book and seeing what I'd already imagined. The character, interestingly named Liz, was a lot like me. Or I am a lot like her, or maybe, just maybe, we are all quite a bit alike in the grand scheme of things. Anyway, she left her husband and supposed ideal life when she started to lose her zest for life. She knew that it wasn't him, or the mortgage making her feel that way, it was her, she was NOT balanced. Anyway, she struggled with knowing how much her husband loved her and having to leave him for her own balance and sanity. She wished that he could not hate her and that they could simply be cordial. Well, in her travels, in discussing this matter with someone he said: "Liz, it's ok that he loves you and misses you. It's ok that you love and miss him. When you feel that way, send him light and love and keep going." That statement really moved me. Because I am in a place where I lack balance and zest. I am afraid that a lot of my spunk has been drained and taken by so many "real life" situations, burdens, thoughts, pain, atmospheres and stresses. I want to be here for my loved ones. I know that they need me. But I need me too, and for that reason, alone, I am setting out to find me again. The God in me. The balance that I need to equally, cohabitat with this universe as I know it. There will be people who wont understand my choices. There will be some who laugh. Some who may even feel that I am running away. There will be some bitter and angry because their situations do not warrant the free spirited life that I have. I am so thankful for my support system: Family, Friends, Associates and Classmates. I love being an open book. I love sharing the good, the bad and the ugly with them, no matter what. But, I can't control anyone's feelings or actions toward me. So I will start now, by sending light and love......and forward marching!!

I don't know where this path is going to take me. But I vow to take my path by storm to Live and Love. Nothing more, nothing less. Live & Love!! I mean, what else am I really good at??

Now, my body will remain here, in HOT, FLAT, Texas for a while longer, but my mind is officially checked out. Consider this my farewell letter. This is an end to a very short chapter in my life. But, I have a feeling that I will revisit some of the pages, very, very soon ;)

Wage Slaves/Image Slaves

I had an epiphany today. It was like my eyes opened up for the first time, since the last time that they saw ever so clearly what was going on.


My Father (my Daddy) is right, he believes that we’ve become slaves to our wages. And, if this is the case, just call me the bottom slave, busting my ass, staying way past , time, to get it right and do it well, so that I never have to ask anyone to bail, me out. But when it’s all said and done, what do we have left? A few borrowed hours to spend with the very ones that you keep lights on for? I mean, why keep the lights on if your heart is off and your time is desolate and you are barely able to see anyway as the tiredness, gloom and stress hovers over your body, forcing you to give off negative vibes. You may as well be wearing a “Keep Out” sign on your soul.

HA!

I love the best of the best, just like the rest. But will I sell the beating blessing in my chest just so that people won’t jest? I. Think. Not.----Nah, never.

Whose opinions matter anyway? More mere mortals, watching you? Laughing at you as you cash your check at stores because you have no bank account. Laughing at you as you rent your tires and rims so that the onlookers can see them. Laughing at you because your most precious possession are in ya Mama’s name. Smiling at you when you have a lock on your rented door that you cannot enter because it was either the Benz or the Rent and the car came first. Get a clue, an education, a career a direction. Get something, as opposed of trying to be something. For real now, I am laughing at you. Always on the scene, refusing to speak to people that you’ve known all your life. Remember, we stayed next door. My Mama would bring ya’ll bread from the Thrift and your Mama would let us use the phone when ours was cut off for non-payment? Ooooh, but I guess none of that rings a bell, thru your blue tooth, which was brand new, and your kids walk around in old diapers smelling like Poo-Poo at ya Mama’s house because you can’t shit for them. MESSAGE!!!

Let me take a step back. I am not in a position to judge you or you or you or even me. I’m just saying “can we get some clarity?” Can we for once try to align our purpose with the divine one? Can we put things into perspective. Like my Father says: What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? *Selah* Some of you are polluting your bodies and the community with trash, silliness, all to keep up an image. But I ask you “For who do you do these things?” For what gain? Most importantly, or you satisfied with your answer?

My coiled hair unravels from under my hat, as I dip it to you: My Brothers and Sisters who would sacrifice a hair cut or a new do to make sure your kids eat. This is for the Grandparents’ who have stepped in to help their children’s-children out in their time of need. This is for my Sisters who would rather drive the same car, so that they could provide an experience for themselves and their kids. This is for my Brothers who would rather play catch with their sons, than to “catch” ass in the street and God knows what else. This is for my families who would rather make beans and rice and pay their mortgage, than to pay rent and eat at the happening spot. This is for my people who know that it’s not about whose name you can drop, or where you live, it’s about who you are. It’s not about what you have, as much as it is about what you do with it. And they say we are in a recession. Nah, we are in a regression. People better get right. Take account of who you are, how you live and you touch the lives that you’ve been entrusted with. Better now than later.

Later!

I am Elizabeth

I am proud to dance to my own beat. I don't always make the right choices, but I guess that's what makes me human. When you get to a point where you are living for you (the God in you); nothing else matters.

I grow tired, and even frustrated when I hear or read how much attention the thoughts and opinions of others get. People will talk at you and laugh at you no matter what. People will have all sorts of opinions, but none of that matters at all. I will not be privvy to your judgement or futile opinions. I am Elizabeth, take it or leave it.

This will ALWAYS be TEMPORARY

Tuesday was one of those interesting days. By the time I arrived at work, I’d already felt like a ball of crap wrapped inside of a sausage and egg burrito that you would find in Texas sold on a truck, at the corner of “Watch out” and “Please don’t”. I cried uncontrollably for quite some time. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around various concepts. It was like the words and actions simply didn’t add up in a certain matter. But, hell, I am kind of getting used to that. Work began, with 79 unread emails with equal parts being from applicants desperately seeking work in this failed/over extended and bailed up and bailed out economy. Whereas the other portion were from co-workers and management all wondering what I was doing, or telling me what to do, or telling me how I should do it. And then was one sad little email from a co-worker who found an ugly ass dog and wanted to “sell” the bastard to someone. Now that email, made me laugh. I wonder if Ms. Thing is still in custody of the mut. Let’s call the mut “Rilo”; just because that’s how I feel right now. And all that really matters to me, is, right now. Moving along, a co-worker, or shall I say an office occupant, who lied on me while I was away from work the week before last (we’ll discuss that later) decided, I guess after I peered into his cold-Satan like eyes for the last time without ever cracking a smile, wanted to come and clear the air with me. How do you think I responded? See with me, after you do me dirty, and especially if we don’t have any ties binding us together, I will smooth cut you off without question. I am not mad at this ball-less piece of dirt, I am just done being anywhere in his sphere. Forward march------Then something in my sick mind told me to check one of my bank accounts and I saw a cute balance of $14.11. YES!!! I thought, I can afford a salmon salad from down the way. I grabbed my big bag, and shuffled around, seeking my wallet. And can you guess what happened next? That’s right. Not a wallet in sight. My wallet had been left in the car. The car that was used to drop me off at work. The car that was probably 30-40 miles away from me. Panicked, aggravated and now at the point of new tears, I remembered that I had a small piece of fish and about 7 green beans in the fridge from the previous day. “Yeah Buddy” I thought. Go-Go gadget microwavableisms. And soon in my brown awkward shaped mouth was the fish and 7, or make that 6 fresh, beautifully colored green beans. Ummm. Satisfied, for now.
My day continued to be a rollercoaster ride of emotions. You may be reading this and saying “Man, that girl has issues.” And you would be correct. I really am a reactor though. And sadly, my threshold for BS and pain isn’t quite as tolerant as it was in my “hay days” (early 20’s). Now it’s really 1.5 strikes and you are out. The first time you are late to do something for me. The first time that you lie on me. The first time that you don’t do what I ask you to do after investing a great deal, makes me question every single thing ever been told. I may not say anything then (big mistake, sometime); I just let it build up and then “Boom” Pipes are broken and so are your spirits and because I’ve exploded; now my heart is hurting. *Sigh* There has to be a better way. I did, ask my Insurance about my mental health benefits though. I had an appointment too, but then I forgot about it. So, really there was no point in sharing that last bit with you, but I did, just to further reinforce your perception of me. Hahahahahahahaha (I am really laughing now). Moving onward, yet again, I was re-playing a recent conversation in my head where “friends” were being discussed and at the very moment, as though God himself wanted to show me that HE is always listening and providing, one of the fantastic four called me up. The warming and familiar voice said “Lizzard, I miss you, I was thinking we could do dinner tonight.” Now remember, I was dropped off and had no money on me. I sadly explained those facts to “TRAILBLAZING” (you have to be and advent blog reader to know which one the girls that is). I remembered thinking “OMG, I hate to be a burden, my life sucks raw ass cakes with bell peppers.” And she very sweetly said “Don’t worry about it.” WOW!!!
A few hours later, we were at one of the Wing joints that we all like, laughing and talking about everything under the sun. Now, you’d have to listen to us to understand just how random the chats are. We have somehow created our own lingo and if you try to decipher it or read too much into it, you will lose the whole point and really demonstrate your lameness. So here’s how the chat went: (and this is a lose translation)
• My job sucks
• I hate my job too
• 2 seconds from saying EF it to everything
• Gotta change the scene
• He got drunk and said he liked to have penises close to him??
• So he’s a real swinger, eh?
• Yucko
• “This will ALWAYS be TEMPORARY” (still don’t understand those two words together)
• “Ugh attachments”
• “I almost didn’t come back”
• Will we be this way at 40?
• “Perhaps, I would have his baby”
• “facebook stalkers”
• Time for another road trip
• Yeah a double Libra Birthday party!! Woo Hoo
• “Sure we’ll have another beer”
After a few hours of randomness and venting about things that really made no sense, my buddy handed me her keys because now she was tipsy. I asked her if she had a preferred route home, and we ended up taking a field trip. We started in the Woodlands, went down 2920, into Ye Old Tomball, ended at “Business 249” (not to EVER be confused with regular 249”) into Cypress, where we ran into Eldridge, made a few lefts around a bend, and over a rickety bridge where below flowed some mysterious body of water and bam, I was home. Now my buddy had a wee bit further to go. I didn’t even call to see if she was ok. But she did “like one of my facebook posts” so that serves as reassurance that she is alive, unless some weirdo stole her phone and is using it to take X-rated pictures in an effort to sabotage her. Let’s just say, all ended well and I am feeling pretty delicious sitting here in my banana yellow shirt.
That is all. There is no moral. No point. That’s why it’s Liz’s Café of blogs, serving you what you need or not, most times, except when I am out of town or inebriated.

My letter to love

Dear Love,
I am here with my heart in my hands, barely beating; bruised by every broken promise, by every act of infidelity, by every forever that seemed to never come. They tell me that with each bout of pain, I will get stronger. They tell me that I should leave my baggage at the door and go forward. Please, speak English to me, because I can’t comprehend how I am supposed to do these things.
Yes, I’ve gotten stronger. My heart isn’t as soft as it used to be. It is no longer three strikes and you’re out. Now it’s a fight just to get in and an even bigger one to get out. Now it’s “I’m watching you and the first time you screw up, I am checking out.” Ha! And my baggage, well it’s expensive and it’s just not that easy to leave it at the door. It’s my compass for learning. It provides the signs so that I can decipher the real baggage from the phony knock-offs.
But that’s neither here nor there. Dear Love, what do I do now? I’ve said every bad thing that I can think of and had every vile thought that a body should have. I’ve been called everything but the Elizabeth that my parents so purposed me to be called. I’ve taken on responsibilities which were not mine. I’ve tried to fix issues that were not mine, and at the end of the day, my mind, body and soul are tired. Sometime I can barely think straight. And when I get dressed, I don’t recognize the face looking back at me. Love, why have you taken such a toll on me? The songs and the greeting cards make you seem so kind and peaceful. Why have I been deceived?
Dear Love, I have written plans and goals. Why haven’t they come to pass? I’ve tried to be kind, but my words were taken for something other than their intent. I’ve tried to carry this load long enough, who will come and relieve me of it? Am I not allowed a break? Am I not allowed these tears that fall freely from my face like a leaky faucet? But when I cry, that is a problem. When I laugh, that is a problem. It seems, love, that in the end, the problem is simply me. Yet you won’t let me go.
Dear Love, I am all out of solutions. I am starting to loathe and despise you. Nothing I say or do ever seems to be well enough for you. And now I am empty. Please, don’t try to change my mind anymore. You don’t even respect me enough to stay your course, to speak kindly to me, to go above and beyond for me, to try to make me well when I am sick, to surprise me with small efforts of kindness and warmth. To hell with love and it’s siblings, because love obviously has no love for me at all.

Things and Dreams

It started off so wonderful, so quickly, so imperative, so necessary, so wrong, so now. You reeled me in with things and dreams, and parallel tastes in Rock N Roll, Jazz, Neo Soul and Film. You made me smile even when I felt that there was nothing to smile about. I assured you that you were ok in your skin and embraced it all with openness and care. As hard as I tried to fight it, the feelings were oozing out of me like blood and soon, I was completely, and utterly apart of you. I sometime wonder if you were ever a part of me. We didn’t know where one another were going, or where we came from, we just knew that This. Felt. So. Right. Nothing even mattered. Because we acted on passion and impulse. I was so in synch with your pulse.


So then, why are we both standing here empty? Why are the tears ever flowing from our faces? Why have we hurt one another beyond repair? Despair fills the air and the entanglement of broken promises, verbal thrashings and limited hope envelopes us without a stamp.
And, what’s the point of placing blame? We both did this. We both gave way.
Once again, I am at a crossroads between “What the hell?” and “What’s next?”
So until I know which way to go, I will remain “steel”. (Ha)

They don't taste sweet because they DID NOT ripen on the vine

Disturbed are my dreams and my realities….so what does that make them, nightmares?
What I used to feel is gone. Hidden in the assumptions, the screaming, the yelling and drowned in the tears.
I used to get dressed to the nines for work.
I used to give 110%; but once you started chipping away at the whole, you left me with half and when that wasn’t enough, you came back for seconds and thirds: Leaving my plate barren and desolate. Then I became trapped in the revolving door of bull shit.
Come on you know?…it’s like a revolving door that you can’t get out of. And furthermore you don’t know whether you are going or coming anymore. It requires no energy to continue in a mindless circle because that is the direction that the system created for you. IT. IS. DESIGNED. THAT. WAY. But if you dare step out and move forward, you will experience great discomfort, and some may wonder what you are doing, but those feelings are temporary and necessary for the growth. I am sick of revolving, it’s time for evolving. I said, I am SICK of revolving, it’s time for evolving. This same song, sounds flat and I know my music.
Man, I tell ya, this world will chew you up and spit you out without remorse. Leaving you sitting there battered wondering why this happened and how you allowed yourself to become so mangled. People, Corporations…they’re all the same. Milking, milking and milking until you have nothing. My breasts are raw and empty. Happy now? Of course you are, sitting fat, fat full at my expense as I scratch for pieces.
The same people, who needed you, will turn a deaf ear when you are down on your luck. The same companies who smiled in your face and compared you to being the best thing since sliced bread, will secretly plan your demise as soon as you no longer shine and jingle the way you used to. “On to the next…toy” Rrrrrright, now you get it.

• Does anyone value the human mind anymore?
• Does anyone speak to the human heart anymore?
• Does consistency still account for anything or is it a lost art like the promise and the honesty?
• Does anyone just tell it like it is anymore?
• Does anyone truly care and keep his/her brother/sister anymore?
…………Or has this greedy, technology driven, power hungry, selfish, lazy, “do as I say, not as I do” generation no longer have time to stop and check on anyone else? Perhaps they are too busy running a made up race, which at the end of the day will mean absolutely nothing. Do you not know that when you stand before your Maker you will answer for every second, minute, hour, person and opportunity that you abused? Do you not know that every broken promise, every lie, every failure to follow thru is a disagreement with your purpose? Probably not. You probably never received the memo because it was locked away in a book and you only do the internet now. Breathe now, I hope that these waters weren’t too deep for you. Come out of the water. Come out of my truth. Put your name brand shoes back on and run as fast as you can. Don’t worry about writing the vision. Don’t worry about making a solid plan. Don’t worry about keeping your commitment. And whatever you do, don’t worry about following the rules. Just continue in your chaotic direction, (circular motion) you are likely to get someplace very soon. But don’t be surprised when the reward doesn’t taste as good as you expected. Your fruit is old, under developed and never even had a chance to ripen.
But like my master said,
…………………”you will know them, by the fruits that they bear” HA!!! And, I know you, or at least I thought I did.

Yuck!!!!!!

Just another Monday afternoon

My mind is bursting at the seams with thoughts, desires, hopes, disappointments and most of all exhaustion. There are times that I feel that paper, or screens will not be able to understand my message thus it may lay dormant hoping that the next generation will see thru the rhetoric and jargon; and get to know me. Then there are times that I am afraid to write, with fear that someone will find a way to make my words and my feelings about them. When in fact, it clearly reads “Liz Life Café”…because it is mine. In spite the clear writings on the wall, my first amendment rights are questioned; as if going thru all of my personal thoughts/things are not enough. I digress…
I am exhausted today. My mind, my body and my soul feels drained. I love everyone in my life, and everyone has a purpose. But every call made today, in spite my reason to speak; I was always cut off and asked for something. Before I could barely utter hello, I was overwhelmed or shall I say almost choked to death with someone’s requests, demands, questions and stories. I just sat there, thinking “this is why”. My boredom is overwhelming me; and I make no apologies for it. I’ve never seen a caged butterfly. I keep telling myself to remain still and quiet until I am certain of my next move, but again my heart, my mind and my body are conflicted. I am almost afraid to continue speaking as my words keep spilling out of me because some usually feel the need to react, once again assuming this is about them, when in fact, I proclaim, it is all about me. Wow, when did I start caring of what people thought? Who the hell have I become? Hmmm
Restless and tired my body goes slumped in the chair starring at my monitor, attached to my desk. Hoping for even a grasp of a dream. A good one. One with light melodies and zephyr gently passing over my body, freeing me of the realities of pain, decisions and challenge. But that thought in itself, is the dream. (I’m laughing at myself, wishing I had the strength to let it out)
Today, I feel that the movie skipped. Ya know the movie or play that I am starring in? Usually I flow fairly well, the button in my back is programmed to bathe, sleep, eat, work, repeat…but today, it seems that there is a glitch. I just exist for this day. No real productivity has been birthed from my womb. I don’t believe that I have smiled once. I am not pointing fingers or passing blame on anyone. This is my world, and I created it, as usual using my heart in spite the scriptures warning me against the use of my heart because it is tainted with passion. I just wish that I could pull myself from this state of darkness, even for just a moment to be reminded of God’s light, his grace and his mercy. I have NOT been completely faithful with what the Universe has offered me. I have spent my time, my thoughts and my money on fruitless people and things. Of what good may this come? Of what good may this come? Even now, I have taken a moment from the mundane to throw my feelings on the mercy of this document. I was once known as a girl, intrinsically motivated. I had my own internal clock and motivator pushing me forward, reminding me of the goal. Now, the voice of reason has been muffled and I am so confused. I find myself praying until I fall asleep, or until the tears come. Or until the tears come…

The incomplete blog

Today isn’t any different than most days. I woke up, got dressed and arrived at work. I am totally thankful for work, even though many times I feel like a mindless drone with my mind and body on repeat. There is so much happening in the world today:
1. Children are being deprived of the basics- Love, Support and Training. I think the most important thing that they don’t have is environment of progress and productivity. Many times this is because babies are having babies. Add that to the Teachers just not giving a damn. Combined with education being the first part of the budget to be cut. In association with people being so selfish that they refuse to take the needed time with a young person to show them misspelling, speaking like a slave or wearing name brand clothes, with sagging pants is not acceptable. Nor is that their only option. It makes me sad and frustrated. I don’t have a solution, so I will be quiet.
2. I am so sick of the aspirations of women being married. Please love you, take care of you FIRST; then maybe, maybe your confidence will be seen and someone else may want to enhance what you already have.
3. There is an oil spill damaging our coasts. The depth of this matter sinks further than we can ever imagine. I am still shocked to see that the matter isn’t being managed as diligently as it should be.
Wow, I can’t even write anymore. I just heard that another classmate has passed away in death. Rest in peace- Nick Hall, 30 years old.

When will people realize that our time here is borrowed? What the hell are you doing with your life? Are you leaving a positive foot print? Are you enhancing the lives of others? Or are you just draining our universe dry?

Friday

Normally Friday’s rock for me. I am excited, even at work because the weekend usually brings so much fun and excitement. And you know me, screw reality…it’s all about the drinks, the shopping and the fun!! So, Friday afternoon comes upon me and the school bell rang, indicating that I should leave. BTW- It was 6 p.m. and I was slowly leaving work. :/

Now, my cell phone had been acting up for weeks. It was becoming increasingly difficult to charge, no matter what I did. It got to the point that I was twisting the cord to various angles to ensure that the charge was going thru. Once I even hung the phone upside down like a baby bat just to get it charged. So last week the Honey physically went into the Cell phone store to request that I get a cell phone. Soooo Friday, I was super excited. I just knew I would be chatting on my cell that weekend. Because that’s what girls do “chat it up”. I arrived all proud, my chest may have even been sticking out. Only to be passed over so that the lazy representatives could service all of the young white customers. The blood started boiling in my inner spirit; because I pay a hefty cell bill every month and I haven’t placed a single call from my phone in 2-weeks. Finally this Garfunkel looking guy decides to “service” me. Within, maybe 1 minute he returns to tell me that there is no cell phone for me. I swear, it’s like he stepped to the back for a few seconds and returned sooo quickly. I knew in my mind and heart that he did not look for my cell phone. Then he actually said “You need to use your cell phone to call Sprint to report the problem”. The tears started in my eyes. I had so many words that nothing would come out. I just looked at him. Was he trying to be funny, suggesting that I use my non-existent phone to call Sprint?? I just left. Now, I had two choices:

1. Go drinking
2. Go shopping
I chose shopping. I spent $100 that I still hadn’t discussed with my significant other. She will soon read it and I will get a spanking when I go home. (Please let me get a spanking)…please excuse my naughty spirit. It comes out sometime. So, I did a little shopping and I felt much better. I stepped out of the store feeling revived and happy. Then as I started driving my rental car (we’ll discuss that later); someone started following me. For some reason I wasn’t alarmed that I was being followed. I just don’t care anymore. (Imagine me spinning around in circles like that girl from Scream saying “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??) Then the beckoned for me to roll down my window; that is when they alerted me of a flat tire. I just looked at them in disbelief, shook my head like “nope, wrong car” and kept driving. Then as I drove into a strip center, another car was following me. “Damn it”, I thought!! This guy said “ma’am you have a flat tire”. I got out looked at it and it was flat as a pancake or a person with no ass. I quickly slid into the nearest gas station. Right as I pulled up to the air and water area…I remembered that I had no change. That’s because someone likes to take my coins and put it into a certain baby’s piggy bank. Right as those thoughts flooded my brain, I took note of the sign which read “Credit Cards now accepted”. WTH?? Credit Cards for air and water? Embarrassed within myself, I slowly pulled out my debit card and placed it in the designated slot; and that machine started up. Just as the machine began to rumble out air; a small gentleman appeared and asked if he could help me. So of course, I said “yes!”. As the guy was putting air into the sick tire, I looked down and he was looking up my dress. I let him have it!! Men, ugh. Right at that moment between wishing something bad would happen to his balls, I swear a black cloud appeared and the rain poured down on me. Now, I as gonna get a drink. I pulled in to the Liquor store, right next to a food place which just had the word “CRABS” written across the top.
The rest is history. There is no moral of the story. I just wanted to share a day in the life of Liz.

*Enjoy*

Pretend

…..It was all my mistake. You don’t know me, you can’t know me because you, see you, don’t even know you. Moving at the speed of light, running in several small circles to achieve a dream never documented. No one showed you what it took, and now you are just learning the best way you can…except your process has torn me to small and nearly unrecognizable pieces. I am not rude, mean, or inconsiderate. I just love me; and loving me won’t allow me to get beaten down any further.
Sometime I sit and wish that I could be silent to only allow my thoughts and dreams to be transplanted into the minds of others, while still never uttering a single word.
I can remember how it felt when I first learned to have a voice. It was received so, so well. Then one day what I had to say became just as discounted as an old wives tale. I sat quietly on the banks of my imagination dangling my feet wondering why I ever opened my mouth in the first place.

Songs in the key of E

The piano player comes to the stage, the lights dim to silently announce her presence. The intro is softly being played. Right at that moment, the bass player, plugs in and begins to softly chant the base line. Sweet undertones to a perfect duo. The crowd can feel the energy building, and in that instant the singer approaches the stage. She fixes her dress and picks thru her ever growing and flowing afro and approaches the mic.

“This is a freestyle ya’ll…so don’t judge me.” She boldly proclaimed with conviction as she clenched the microphone with one hand. And after a 4 count intro, she began to belt out a song that sent a piercing chill thru everyone in the crowd. The words were:
“This is not gonna be another sad, depressing love song
I’m not gonna talk about what you did to me
I’m not gonna shed another tear for you
Not gonna slit my wrist, because I’m afraid that the blood will stain my new St. Johns blouse
Nooooo, I’m not gonna talk about the chance after chance I gave you, and how you still didn’t get the point.
Ohhhh nooo, I refuse to discuss the extra that you put me thru, not gonna be a victim to you.
I’ll just pretend with a smile
I’ll just pretend with a smile
I’ll just pretend with a smile…….so every time my picture is taken, I’ll look like I have it all together, BUT, in reality I’m a mess. I low, down, sad mess.
But I’m not gonna shed another tear for you
I promise, I won’t.”
Her voice was so powerful, you could feel every, single word. I saw people jumping up and down; and some shedding buckets of tears. I saw some put their heads down as though the singer was speaking to them directly. Regardless of the varied responses, everyone was feeling something. You could see that the singer had been thru some things. You could sense her pain…but most importantly you could sense that music, art, was her release.
The music went on well into the night, and not a soul complained. One broken guitar string, two snare drum sticks snapped in half, two hoarse singers, one trumpet mute damaged later and we were still singing, yelling and crying. It was as if God him/herself came down and anointed the place with supernatural energy to carry all of the burdens, pain, broken hearts and disappointments away in His chariot of art. The music cleansed the souls of everyone there. The weight was lifted without a single word. A work of completion was finally done. The singer then, as though she could feel all of the negative energy dissipate into thin air, stopped singing abruptly. She dropped the mic, smiled and vanished into thin air.


When I grow up…I want to be just like her.

Need something? Want something? Need someone to take things out on? Call me!

Songs play in my mind at such a fast pace that I can barely catch the beat. I am snapping my fingers and clapping my hands on 1 and 3, but the beat is clearly at 2 and 4. Have you ever had so much on your plate that your mind was unable to process it? We take for granted the simplicity of our life, wanting to be attached to someone else, to something else. Ahh, the price paid for the things we want.

48 unread work emails, 27 unread personal emails, and 11 text messages wondering where I am today, or why I am not on facebook have managed to irritate me, frustrate me, and entertain me all at once. Why is everything such an emergency? Why is it that when people are confused or angry, I get the scattered calls spewing out every emotion? Can someone ever just call me calmly, not needing anything? Please.

I am slowly hearing the beat just a bit more clearly now, that I am well rested. I am still uncertain about a few things, but only time will tell. It is so hard to keep a positive outlook, when work is draining you, relationships are standing in line taking and taking and finances are playing "guess which bill we'll pay". LOL My life, is a made for TV movie, I am almost convinced. No real complaints though. You know there is a difference in complaints and vents. I am thankful for my life, for chance and chance again to make things right. I am thankful for this moment to breathe. It's been 27 minutes and 16 seconds since my last call. Whew

Sanity

Good Morning World!! Oops, my bad it's afternoon. Wow, I've started this day at least twice already...sitting here enjoying the view while sippin' on cocktails and talking about life, love and relationships with friends. Wow!! I've learned so, so much. Allow me to share two of these things-

1. Just because you are going thru doesn't mean that you have to tell the whole world about it....there are people hoping and rooting for your failure and purposely broadcasting your every frustration is just fuel for fire. It's amazing to see some people's social media posts and need for attention. There have to be better ways to communicate frustrations.

2. Every good thing, every solid thing takes time. So many times we get caught up in what others have, how others have handled certain things, etc..but everyone is wired differently. Everyone has their own right of passage and we must allow people to get to their destined place in their own time. Rushing a person or a circumstance to get where it we would like it to be, will only cause stress and challenge.

Moving along....last night I had a blast. It was such a fantastic event. I met some great people. Enjoyed many fabulous compliments, heard exquisite voices. This little getaway is really helping me to put things in perspective. I am finding pieces of me that I didn't know existed, or that I didn't know were lost. Sometime, I can lose self as I take on too many tasks. Lately, I was growing scared to look myself in the mirror. Ugh...so many random thoughts in my head. Let me go back into my state of relaxation. I'll be back soon with more info.

Peace (Two Fingers)

I’d rather you plead the 5th….

…….than to lie to me. Than to pretend to be something or someone that you are not. I am so sick of people pretending to be so kind, forthright, forgiving and secure; only to learn that they are far from it. My delivery may not always be optimum, but I am true, thru and thru. I will not on a Monday, say that I am green, only to tell you Tuesday that I am red, and then on Wednesday skip the words and show you that I am black. People change the rules like the change lovers, moods and temperatures. Who are you? What do you stand for? And, the thing that you claim to so adamantly stand for today, will it be an old concept tomorrow? Yes, life, people and situations change. But as the old adage states “If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.” These words ring thru me like a loud bell…liberty! Chameleons’, have no boundaries, no shape, no roots, no beliefs. They change with the wind…”like falling water”…and they wonder why others only look and shake their heads. How am I to trust you? How I am to be comfortable enough to plant roots with you, when you don’t know if you are even a plant most of the time. Damn!! Find you. Know you. Do you…first; figure all of that shit out first, before you involve others. Who has the strength for this? I am in a totally different place. The road that you are traveling has been traveled before and it leads to a place that I am not interested in traveling. But sadly, I still try, in spite of it all. You wanted love, you got it!

I have stood by, supported you with everything that I know how to do and be. I have encouraged your dreams. All for one day, this dream, this commitment to be soooo huge and the next, something else takes precedence. I mean, I know that things happen, but this type of occurrence should be the exception to the rule; not the norm. All, I have left to show for it is a hole in my heart and a receipt of yet another one of your dreams deferred. How arrogant and selfish of you to play with my heart! How arrogant and selfish of you to pretend that my opinion and dreams matter…when in actuality, every one of my sentences are interjected, halted, like an unsuspecting detour…when in actuality, my opinions, dreams and suggestions only matter when the shit hits the fan and you need me to clean it up. I don’t think you are dumb. I don’t think you are stupid. I just think you don’t know what you have, or what you truly want…and if you do know what you want, you appear clueless on the path to get there. See, I am not going to play like your actions don’t affect me. I am not going to smile, with eagerness and happiness because I have someone…all while lying and cheating behind your back. My voice will be heard and what you do with it is on you.

Accusations fly faster than a bullet in the BK, with you always being the victim and I am the shooter. The forensics point to a verdict of guilty for me, right?? It. Never. Fails. I want to see you succeed, and make fruitful decisions. I also know that part of growth and life is the ability and allowance to make crazy decisions, fall and then learn from the fall as we gently dust ourselves off. But when your falling affects me, us, others, and the finances thereof, I have a problem. Once again, I am left wanting because what you were supposed to do, you used your sexy sense of procrastination to put it off until the next day…and that savvy decision that you made came back to bite….ouch, the bite mark still hurts. I hope, it isn’t infected.


Never before, have I ever felt as though my dreams, my hopes and my ideas were moot. I feel that you have suffocated them, because you are not able to deal with the reality that is me. Will the real people stand up? The ones who won’t lie to you about messages, rings, thoughts, food, etc..? LMAO as I type this…because some of the lies have been so ridiculous, I wonder if they are in-itself a huge joke. But I have no one to blame for this but me. Once again, I allowed my obviously flawed heart to do the fool again. I saw the God in you, and you saw NOTHING. I saw who you were in the spirit…why am I sharing this? But what did you show me?? A reality of inconsistency, insecurity and, instability. My simple questions, either go unanswered, or you turn them into something that no longer even resembles a question. But I am still guilty, sentenced to a life of____________.

Perfect? Me…Ha, far from it. In fact, my imperfections and idiosyncrasies make me an ever better example of God’s love, mercy and ability to cleanse in the earth. Let us not even speak on the words “cleanse”…another small piece of laughter hiding behind the pain is begging to be heard.
Call me crazed and deranged…but I don’t have to keep sticking my hand in the fire to know that it burns. Hell, I see the flames. I can love and forgive from a far, far, place. I do it all the time. In fact, I am certified. Did you not see the letters “BS” behind my name?

I will never forget how you have derailed my thoughts, how you refuse to trust me with yours…how you have unraveled my heart at the seams, how you said one thing, but did another. I will never forget how when I messed up and tried to fix it; your mouth said you were open, but your actions were closed. I will never forget the look on your eyes when I met you. I will never forget the times we spent. I will never forget how I went against my gut and gave this a chance only to have my heart shattered into unrecognizable pieces. But. This. Too. Shall. Pass. It always does.

One thing you still fail to realize is that when I am in your corner, my love, my care and the extent that my hand will reach to help you will never, ever go away. But, obviously that is not important to you. *singing, you just lost one* Again, I digress.

Ready for this weekend, am I. My plan is to release every single bit of frustration, to cry every tear that has laid on the surface of my heart for so long, to scream until my voice is named in the heavens and on every mountain top, and to quietly step away and allow you to be who you were intended to be.
I’d rather you plead the 5th, than to lie to me, than to pretend to be something or someone that you are not, than to change the rules every day impending your level of comfort.

Let me leave you with this:
1. When a person is not faithful in the small things, how can they be trusted with the larger things. Whether this be their word, their families, their finances or their health.
2. There is MORE than love required to be someone’s partner, parent, and friend. How dare you think that responsibility, faithfulness, discipline and boundaries are not necessary?? It is all apart of love.
3. Finally, I know that upon reading one assumption will be made and I am fine with that. But know this, I am very grounded in certain principles and if you take those for fun and games, we won’t get very far.

I am thankful that my motives are clear, and that my intentions are right. I am thankful for this proverbial pen and pad to plant my feelings in, because no one else seems to care or understand them. I am thankful for my life, the living witness that all things are possible. I am most thankful for my ability to see things for what they really are. There is something to say about discernment.

Signing off “been around chameleons so much, I am starting to forget who I am”

6

Is it really June?? OMG, we are in the halfway point of our "new year". Did anyone keep their resolutions or goals? Please, anyone, by a show of hands, nubs, bandanas, or lighters...did anyone keep their goals? hmmmm I will take that as a "silent no".

I was attacked this weekend people. It was very gruesome and I am almost embarrassed to discuss it. It was like the predator had no mercy. Lord, I loathe and dispise mosquitos on all levels!! The sick and sad attack started on Friday night and ended on the beach, Monday night. Let's discuss a few small topics, that I am just putting out there:

1. Dressing rooms were NOT made for big girls. There is no other explanation. I was trying dresses on Monday afternoon, and by the time I was done, I was sweaty as all get out.
2. If you throw a party, if you don't personally ask certain attendees to bring anything, it is implied that their presence is appreciated and that is all. I am soooo sick of people and these "come meet me at the club" parties, where I have to pay for an outfit, parking, club entry and drinks. Damn, do you want us there or not?
3. Social Media, like most technological advances have their ups, and certainly their downs. People need to be more careful.
4. Having 2+ kids out of wedlock is CRAZY. Especially if they have different parents (Moms or Dads). Someone that I know is pregnant with her 4th kid and can't take care of the 3 that she has. 2 of the 3 have different Fathers; and that Father has about 11 kids all around the same age. UGH. Can you say protection? That is nasty and trifling to a new degree.

Ok, I am done for now...be well, stay thirsty and wrap that crap up!!

It just doesn't add up to what I thought it would be

I am so tired, that I can barely catch my breath. I am told that I worry too much, and that I attach to easily. Perhaps. Perhaps. I was told that I should always, always give 110%; and I beat that goal. I take excellence to a new level, if my hands are to embrace it. Then why is the weight of this matter so heavy that my chest hurts?

Why is it that I care so much about work? Why is it that my integrity is being questioned without just cause?

I am convinced that at times life is a like one extremely long circus:

You love me and clap for me as long as I can perform tricks. But, God forbid the tight rope cracks or breaks and I fall....Now you are angry with me. Now you wonder if I am right for the role. The lights flicker until they are dim. The claps are but a distant memory.

Am I wrong to expect reciprocity in this selfish and arrogant world? Perhaps. Perhaps.

I thought that 1+1 = 2
Now, as the days of my life expand and excel, I am learning that the sum is produced by whomever is in charge of the adding, how they are feeling, what they are wearing, the color of their skin, the size of their body, the initials behind their name.

A.I.K.C.I.R.E

I write to escape the reality which sometime I am too fragile to bear. I read because I can be whoever it is that I want to be at the moment. I sing to drown out the sounds of “can’t”, “won’t” and impossible. I cry to cleanse my soul of the pain, the hurt and disappointment that I’ve allowed to enter my universe.

I write to share a message, because when it is all said and done; only these words will remain. My body will be recycled into new life forms; someone new will be in possession of the energy loaned to me by the Almighty. I read to know how someone, yesterday, mastered what it is that I still can’t begin today. I sing because the music that comes from my mind is more pure than the noise we fill our worlds with today. I cry because I am happy, happy to have the grace and mercy to “press restart”.

I write to see how the random thoughts in my mind may sound to someone else. I read to drown out the voices in my head, not knowing of whence they come. I read because the cable is cut off, and I need something to bridge the gap. I sing, because I am bored and making up songs seems to bring me joy. I cry, because you hurt my feelings, yesterday.

I write because my handwriting looks nice and I am proud of it. I read because my big brown eyes must be put to use for fear I lose them. I sing because I sound good, and if I practice long enough, one day I will have the courage to share it with those who may listen. I cry because I am filled with passion about this and you don’t understand me. You never understand me.

I write because it is a safe release, something like an orgasm without the sweat. I read because I am hungry to learn of new things, new methods, new languages, and new victories. I sing because the bible says to make a joyful noise to the Lord…so. I. Must. Oblige. HIM. I cry because your birth was one of the happiest days of my life, Ava.

I love because I’ve read that the only way to know the true meaning of life is to step outside of self and embrace something else so wholeheartedly, that we’ll call it love. I love because, I wrote about love so much until one day, the light bulb went off and I felt it. I love because the songs all speak of love and have contaminated my mind with the idea in such a way that I had to try it for myself. And, I always cry because of love. I cry when love hurts. I cry when love feels so good. I cry when my love doesn’t seem to be enough. I cry when my loved ones hurt. I cry when my loved ones win!

Can I get a wet-nap?

I am so full of passion today. When will people understand that when there is balance in a woman’s home, then she will be balanced in the other areas of her life. Home is truly where the heart is. That home could be a loft overseeing the Pacific Ocean, a Beach House in Galveston, an apartment in Buckhead, an efficiency in South park or a rented room in the BK…home is home. It’s where we think, pray, sleep and come up with some of our greatest ideas and creations. It should be, at all times a sanctuary.

I’m an air sign, which means that if the energy aint right, I aint right. I’ve been so off balance, and it’s shown in my weight, smile, attitude and performance. I wanted to blame everything and everyone for this, but in reality, the power has always rested in my hands. I just have to be thankful and count my blessings for the love, and the ability to make things happen. I am thankful. I really am.

Anyway, so much has happened. I guess I need to catch you up. BTW- This is coming as a prelude to our reunion for the Sex and the City Premier happening Wednesday at midnight. OMG, I am sooo excited. I feel like a little girl again. I am going to get my lashes done; and maybe, just maybe buy some new perfume to make me feel all sexy and crap. I may even shave my legs…”watch out there now” LOL

Missing my people, my sisters, my Goddaughter Ava in South Florida, my nieces and nephews. But I am in a budgetary hibernation and when I come out, I really hope to be better, until my next fiasco, which should arrive sometime next summer. SMH @ myself.

Well here are the updates you’ve all been waiting for:

1. My younger astrological twin has separated from her abusive situation and now has a dope ass pad SON! She looks so much happier, and is back to doing the things which make her unique. I am praying for her constant strength and will to move forward.
2. One of the fantastic four is gone to Italy. Tramp!! I am such a hater right now, but in a sweet, wishing her well way. I wonder how she is. Is there facebook over there? Hmmm, is she eating lots of pizza and gelato? Ummm-Hmmm
3. My Honey and I are preparing for re-entry to the love bubble. It’s funny and sad how we can forget why we fell in love in the first place. But, now we are making the needed transitions to make this thing work.
4. Rambunctious is STILL Single. But here’s why: She meets either the really settled guy who only eats meat on odd days of the week, or the guy who wants to lick her hoo-hah in the back of a Honda Civic. LMAO “either or” She is at least working to find her place in life, which is more I can say for some. Whoever gains her, would have gained a prize. She is truly one of the smartest most caring people (in a drunkish-smokish way) that I have ever met.
5. The old friend who left the other old friend is now with an old acquaintance and he seems to be happy. I pray that this is the one. I will not say anything more on this subject. When I write my book, he will get a whole chapter. Gots to love him though.
6. A blast from the past sent me the most dirty inbox message on facebook. I mean it was so dirty, I clinched my legs together and washed my hands in the MEN’S bathroom after reading it. WTH? Do people always want you when you are taken? Does anyone have any morals anymore?? I mean seriously. Whatever, I deleted that broad. I wouldn’t let her get close to me with a prosthetic tongue.
Well, so much for this. I am tired of typing, and I am actually at work, sooooo……..

Oh and a special shout out to the Gemini, my friend of 20+ years who will be 30 tomorrow. I love you and you make me proud.


Be well Kings and Queens!!

Be

I was once told that I should be my best and do my best in everything that I touched, in every word which departed my lips. It seems that in many cases I have forgotten these things.

Life has a way, thru it's trials, tribulations, discriminations, false hope and dangerous energies of causing you to put a wall up. It has a way of forcing you to fight for you rights, fight for what you stand for. I fear, that eventaully these walls will compartmentalize humanity on such a level that we won't even know who we are.

It is my goal to return to self; to the basics. I must become determined to do the best, dress the best, feel the best and speak the best no matter what is happening around me. I know who I am, and it doesn't matter if no one else knows who I am...so be it. If someone else decides that it is ok to use foul language, so be it. If someone else neglects their vessel, so be it. I am now on a quest to push myself to the limit. In health. In wealth. In deed. In spirit. In might.

A man/woman is only as strong as his/her word.

How can we ever get to a thousand dollars if we don't save 10-100's??

Time is flying by faster than ever, or at least so it seems. I am sitting here about to say my farewell to yet another Sunday, so that I am prepared for Monday. There is so, so very much on my mind right now. When I compose one of these blogs, it is always because of a way that I am feeling. Sometime, I am so full of emotion and passion on a topic that to ensure that I don't hurt any of my loved ones or make any rash decisions, I must spew it out onto the electronic canvass, and create art. Where shall I begin? I am not sure so I will just do the best that I can so that I am not ranting and raving, sounding like a lunatic.

1. You can never build on a shaky foundation. I mean, sure you can. But how many things last on a foundation poorly built. I try my best to convey this to some of my loved ones, one in particular but it seems as though my words fall on deaf ears. Oh how I wish, my words could carry a strong enough weight to make a change. The reason that so many of us young people don't have very much to show for our work and time is due to the way we handle the little things. We rarely properly plan, thus we are always rushing, showing up late and making small messes everywhere that we go. We don't save money, because with every crisp $100 bill we can always find something that is so important. Once that toy is purchased or that quick need is fulfilled, I am in awe at how that purchase that was so important is now obsolete. How can we ever get to a thousand dollars if we don't save 10-100's?? In my opinion it is better to start small and slow and gradually, by giving care to every resource build. I mean who puts the walls up before the floors?

I had to stop on that point for a few moments, because I didn't want to rant and rave and I felt that coming on strong.

2. I have a friend who isn't extremely happy with me right now. There was a total misunderstanding and miscommunication; and I said that I would address it verbally and those of ya'll who know me, know that is not a problem, but with everything on my proverbial plate, I simply lack the energy for it. I wish that with every confrontation, people would look at my overall character and say: Hmm, is this like Liz? Have I ever experienced this with her before? Do I believe that this was intentional malice? Oh well, I am happy that this person did take it up with me directly, and not everyone else for clarification, because if I did it, only I can fix it.

I had more to write but so often I get so exhausted that I can barely finish. I really wish that I didn't allow the actions of others to have such an impact on me. I guess, I actually give a shit about the people in my life. I want to see us all grow and use our resources to the fullest.

Oh yes, I know what else I wanted to say, and I assure you that I will be brief-

Looking for a job, is a job. Unless you look like Barbie, have at LEAST an undergraduate degree and have at least 5 years of experience in the field that you are interested in entering, the odds of you making a decent amount to provide for your family is SLIM to NONE. I have interviewed for positions and interview people for positions and it is all about popularity. Who do they like the most? So, to convince the "powers that be" that you are the best fit for the role, you have to do the following:

A. Network like hell. If you want a better IT role, you need to join local and national organizations geared toward your trade. Get out there and attend conferences, shake hands with people who can help you.

B. Have a good resume'. One that clearly discusses who you are and what you are capable of doing. Resume's that are unclear, messy or have grammatical and spelling errors are as good as trash.

C. Dress the part. Please iron your clothes before an interview. Look neat and professional, whether you are interviewing for a Cook at a fast food place or the CEO. Remember it's a popularity contest!!

Ok, so I am done with that. I'll be back soon with more.

Peace & Blessings

So live YOUR life....

James Brown said it best when he sang "You gotta live, for yourself, yourself and nobody else."

This weekend, I've heard a myriad of stories, all sounding something like:

"My friends are talking about me"
"Such and such said it looked like we were already married"
"Man you make me look weak"

What in the hell? Why do people who don't provide you with nourishment: Mental, Spiritual, Financial, Sexual, etc...have so much bearing on what you feel, think or do? What is even more hilarious is that the people who do talk about you like that, are only jealous because they don't have what you have.

I am always encouraging my young neices and nephews to live their lives for them. Do what makes them happy, responsibly of course. Because if you don't know who you really are, what you want and where you are going you will never be able to properly enhance the lives of others, spouses, children, etc..Sadly so many people grow up, prematurily. I've been called many things. I've been told many things. I have heard the jeers of people so-called my peers, even recently. But I honestly have no real care in my heart for the opinions of others. I have partied more than half of my life. I've traveled to the places that I chose to. I have lived, thought and worked "out side of the proverbial box"....so at this junction in my life, I am finally content to say "no thanks, I can't come." I am content to say "I don't want to do XYZ." And guess what, once those words depart from my lips, there is little to no chance that I will change my mind.

Ahhhhhhh, this life was a gift to us by the Almighty. We can do whatever we so desire with it. But when you lay you head down at night just be certain that you are content with what you have done with your life force. And if you talk the talk and say that you want more in life...if you say that you want to have a productive life, then I suggest you start investing in your life properly so that you can enhance the lives of others. If you chose to live a self-ish life, you are entitled to that. Just be prepared for the results.

Ugh, I can do on and on about this. I fear though, that my message will fall on deaf ears and the very ones who need to see this and let it be planted down in the soil of their soul won't. But hey, such is life. I digress. Nah, ef that...I progress. I ALWAYS progress no matter who is in my life or around my life....But I progress for me. Because this is my life and no one elses opinions, thoughts or influences really matter.

Selah: This is a term often used in Biblical days to indicate a time to be quiet/meditate and think about what was just read. (Thought I'd provide that definition for some). "LAL" (laughing a little)

Mountain High Valley Low Bank Account

There has much deliberation in conjunction to my varied situations. I've been in a place where my career path was questioned. However, at the end of the day, the bottom line is that all I do is invest in someone elses bottom line. We have to make better arrangements to ensure that we, as my Best Buddy said "Build a Personal Brand". Many of us young folk are like robots. We are on a proverbial "repeat" cycle whereby we wake up, work, tend to the family/household, do happy hour, bathe, sleep and repeat. When was the last time that you took a small part of your resources and properly invested in you? If you were removed from this earth today, have you made the proper arrangements for your family, for everything that you've worked hard for? Most of us, will probably say no. We live life like there is tomorrow, and for most of us tomorrow always comes.

Anyway let me not jack that dick off too long. Moving to a new subject. And YES, I just said that.

Nah, I want to stay on that subject in a round about way. I guess what I need to convey is: WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW...WHAT AMERICA HAS TRICKED YOU IN TO BELIEIVING....WHAT YOU ARE WORKING TO "BUY" DOES.NOT.MATTER.

How is the quality of your life?
Have you seen real snow?
How many oceans have you seen?
How did it feel to be off of US soil?
Have you been in true love before?
Have you helped the progression of someone elses life?
Did you complete your education because you wanted to learn more, or because you wanted a "good job"?
Have you climbed a mountain?
Have you laughed until tears came out and you were 2 seconds from calling 911??

Let me know when you can answer affirmatively to these questions.

Ya'll it's time that we invest more into the quality of life, as opposed to what we have.

Lets do something different.