Friday

Normally Friday’s rock for me. I am excited, even at work because the weekend usually brings so much fun and excitement. And you know me, screw reality…it’s all about the drinks, the shopping and the fun!! So, Friday afternoon comes upon me and the school bell rang, indicating that I should leave. BTW- It was 6 p.m. and I was slowly leaving work. :/

Now, my cell phone had been acting up for weeks. It was becoming increasingly difficult to charge, no matter what I did. It got to the point that I was twisting the cord to various angles to ensure that the charge was going thru. Once I even hung the phone upside down like a baby bat just to get it charged. So last week the Honey physically went into the Cell phone store to request that I get a cell phone. Soooo Friday, I was super excited. I just knew I would be chatting on my cell that weekend. Because that’s what girls do “chat it up”. I arrived all proud, my chest may have even been sticking out. Only to be passed over so that the lazy representatives could service all of the young white customers. The blood started boiling in my inner spirit; because I pay a hefty cell bill every month and I haven’t placed a single call from my phone in 2-weeks. Finally this Garfunkel looking guy decides to “service” me. Within, maybe 1 minute he returns to tell me that there is no cell phone for me. I swear, it’s like he stepped to the back for a few seconds and returned sooo quickly. I knew in my mind and heart that he did not look for my cell phone. Then he actually said “You need to use your cell phone to call Sprint to report the problem”. The tears started in my eyes. I had so many words that nothing would come out. I just looked at him. Was he trying to be funny, suggesting that I use my non-existent phone to call Sprint?? I just left. Now, I had two choices:

1. Go drinking
2. Go shopping
I chose shopping. I spent $100 that I still hadn’t discussed with my significant other. She will soon read it and I will get a spanking when I go home. (Please let me get a spanking)…please excuse my naughty spirit. It comes out sometime. So, I did a little shopping and I felt much better. I stepped out of the store feeling revived and happy. Then as I started driving my rental car (we’ll discuss that later); someone started following me. For some reason I wasn’t alarmed that I was being followed. I just don’t care anymore. (Imagine me spinning around in circles like that girl from Scream saying “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??) Then the beckoned for me to roll down my window; that is when they alerted me of a flat tire. I just looked at them in disbelief, shook my head like “nope, wrong car” and kept driving. Then as I drove into a strip center, another car was following me. “Damn it”, I thought!! This guy said “ma’am you have a flat tire”. I got out looked at it and it was flat as a pancake or a person with no ass. I quickly slid into the nearest gas station. Right as I pulled up to the air and water area…I remembered that I had no change. That’s because someone likes to take my coins and put it into a certain baby’s piggy bank. Right as those thoughts flooded my brain, I took note of the sign which read “Credit Cards now accepted”. WTH?? Credit Cards for air and water? Embarrassed within myself, I slowly pulled out my debit card and placed it in the designated slot; and that machine started up. Just as the machine began to rumble out air; a small gentleman appeared and asked if he could help me. So of course, I said “yes!”. As the guy was putting air into the sick tire, I looked down and he was looking up my dress. I let him have it!! Men, ugh. Right at that moment between wishing something bad would happen to his balls, I swear a black cloud appeared and the rain poured down on me. Now, I as gonna get a drink. I pulled in to the Liquor store, right next to a food place which just had the word “CRABS” written across the top.
The rest is history. There is no moral of the story. I just wanted to share a day in the life of Liz.

*Enjoy*