First of all; let me send my apologies out to my kind and interested readers, that I did not complete a passage on yesterday. What a day it was.....wayyyy too many things to recall and recite at the moment; but I assure you the info will not be lost.

Now let's get right down to it:

Ugh!! That is my noise of the hour. I feel like a woman, in every sense of the word. My hormones are RAGING and between my abdomen and lower back feels as though I am being punched and rolled thru a steamroller. I am not at my best today. In fact, I haven't been at my best in a while now. I feel stiffled and trapped somewhat in a life that certainly was designed for someone else. But, I digress...it is what it is.

Anyway in the spirit of my physical, cyclical state let me just spill out some random "ish":

I miss my family and friends greatly; though for the most part we are all some 20 miles away from one another. But my resources are so limited and I feel so drained that it is nearly impossible to be social with anyone right now. However; because of the simultaneous time for my unfortunate and quite varied events and the connection with my newly found Partner; everyone has devised in their minds that "she" is the reason for my distance; as it were. It is soooo amazing how people feel that they know you so well; yet they are clueless to your true innermost workings. In conjunction w/ these points; it may be a good time to explain that when I am at a "controllable-low point" in my life i.e. something which can be repaired; but is still pretty terrible; all I need is love, prayer and support. I don't need 15 million calls, facebook messages or people secretly whispering amoungst one another wondering "What Liz is going thru." I don't want a hand out; not even understanding because you could not grasp it if I explained it to you, furthemore I am grown and owe no man no explanation whatso-effin-ever. 10-4..Over and "effin" out.

.....and another thing, seems that the job situation is about to make a change in my favor. Remember the place where I interviewed? Well, they are still interested and the Manager told me today, verbally; that things are looking favorable for me; as I am the only candidate that they remain interested in. Now this is where some positive help could come in. I will take all size 18 bottoms and 14 tops to my hood address. You know where to find me. I will need work clothes for this crappy ass weather. Let us see who will answer that call

Oh yes, last night one of the "Fantastic 4" was at our Tuesday night hide-a-way, where we are usually the "raisins in the milk". She and I were briefly able to catch up. I am so happy for my friend, as her business is about to take off and she will do beautifully. Also her previous "LTI" (long term investment) decided to grace us with his presence at the spot. Sadly this gentleman is no longer in the running for the permanent role in "our" lives. His time has expired. Now here is something you should know about my Libra "friend" and I (This is a total sidebar); we are extremely freespirited and the quickest way to get EEEE-LIMM-INN-AAA-TED is to choke us of our ability to flow freely. If you invade our space; force your way into areas that we deem "un-look-able" (I love made up words); we will quickly grow tired of you, and eventually you will be cut. We believe that everything has its place, as do people, experiences, clothing, shoes, books, etc...This former "LTI" did just that amoung a few other annoying things and now he is cut and will not be staring in anymore episodes.

This brings me to another small-but mostly large update...Do you recall the friend that "Partner" and I picked up on last Saturday? The one who got stood up? Would you believe that the inglorious bastard still was unable to call her and at least offer an apology? WTF?? Where is this sick ass world heading? Who makes plans with you, breaks them and has not the slightest decency to at least call/text/facebook message/pigeon call/postal mail an update? People, let me tell you: Reciprocity is real as hell. You can not treat people dirty, fail to keep your word, treat people as some kinda "I'll get to you when I can" convenience and expect to prosper. Of course you are not commiting murder or anything like that; but you are placing a dent into your character. Character is the sum of a mans/womans works, deeds, words and habits over time. Like any other thing, character requires practice...and then practice makes, at least near perfect. My friend, is probably still upset about this; but this is life and hopefully she will learn WHAT NOT TO DO and move forward with care.

As I mentioned I have a lot to say. Many trashy, Spec's Liquor store, $100 crab and crawfish bill, "Damn this tastes like Baileys", HOV lane stories for ya. But let me cease while I am ahead.

Oh yes (rubs hands together; but hoping these 6 week over due fake nails don't fall off) let me leave you with this:

1. The laws of attraction are real. Want to stop meeting shady people? Boys and Girls, what should you do?? Hmmm, think about it. That's right...cease being shady. Mean what you say and say what you mean.

2. Thinks positive in spite of it all. I am telling you folks, I am at a low place in my life. I feel defeated in so many ways. I am frustrated w/ myself for not preventing certain actions and behaviors which contributed to this mess...but I still believe, some way, somehow that I will come out on top. I always do and this time, will be no different. Remember, we have what we say we have...or let me go Gospel Gangsta on ya "So a man thinketh, so is he". Real. Talk.

3. If you are in a relationship, take care of business. Always stay on top of things; because there is always some little slut after what is yours and she will always be willing to do all the things that you/we wont. Of course standards should be set; you don't have to "take it in the ear"..please by all means be a laaaaady; but don't be afraid to try new things and ask your mate what you can do to make it better. They may lie, but at least try so that if/when they cheat you are justified in your mind in the act of "widow" status.

Finally-Treat people the way you want to be treated. I say things like this quite a bit. If you want things to move along quickly for you, act quickly when you are asked to do things. Don't sit around doing idle things because what you have been asked to do isn't as important to you. Just say no, if you wont act accordingly!!!

Peace & Blessings (Forty Ounces and Hot chips)