Life thru my wineglass: One long blog

I am sharing my life with you, as often as I possibly can. The sadness, the victories, the triumph, the confusion, this mishaps, the mindgames, the jokes and the relationships....they are all from me to you. My blogs have morphed from this fun hobby to an extension of my art, the art which is me.

My heart is full with so much to share right now, but I mustn't treat my fingers so badly. Thus, regrettably, I must give you the "Cliff Huxstable Notes:

Mr. Woodlands brought what seemed like 76 wings on Friday night for Rambunctious and I. After a bit of sipping and chatting about nothing, I decided to make a plate of wings. "Damn, these rolls are off the chain" I thought as a piece of the softest, most buttery roll was hanging from my mouth. I brought my completely prepared plate, back to the loveseat where m bottom seems to spend an "enormous" amount of time. "Wow, are there supposed to be so many red and black pepper flakes on these wings?" I wondered as I began to take my first bite. STOP!!!!

Those wings were so hot that my saliva wouldn't even help my mouth as I choked, coughed and frowned. Those were the hottest wings EVER, and I adore hot food. The two of them looked at me, with that face of "we'll laugh when we know she'll live". UGH. Come to find out Mr. SmartypantsWoodlands, asked for the effin hottest wings to bring to us. I guess he figured "Oh they eart hot food, this'll show em" ANGRY FACE----Those wings are still in the fridge. I hope that, they have cooled down just a bit, otherwise it's "death to em".
We laughed and laughed, with each sip poured. Some of the things we discussed were so silly that even as I am typing, my face is lit up like a Christmas tree. Then we began watching “Meet the Browns” and the laughs which spawned from this were astronomical. I kept pressing the rewind button, at the part where Mr. Brown is at the Church, for his Dad’s funeral. You know the part where he says “Put me on program” and then acts shocked when he is called up. Oh my God, my sides were hurting and my voice was slowly creeping away. Mr. Woodlands said “Liz, in all the times I’ve watched this movie, I never noticed that part.” Good times.
Fast-Forward
Saturday morning arrived so, so quickly. We scuffled around to get ready for the airport. I literally threw two pair of panties and a few toiletries in my “Neverfull” and we jetted out the door. The three of us, from the night before headed to the airport, still being silly. We arrive and I am feeling pretty proud of myself, because, I, with my ever so intelligent-self, has already printed the boarding passes. Except, when we get in the then short security line, I realize that I left the passes on the bar.
About 22 minutes later, we, the two of us now, arrived at our gate and realized that a bar was in arms reach from the gate. So, since we weren’t boarding yet, it was quickly decided that a drink would be in order. Swiftly we went to the bar. “Yes?” “I’ll have a Cabernet please.” “Yeah, make that two” Keyword being Cabernet. Yet, the barkeep, decided to hand us a small dusty bottle of Merlot. Nope, I didn’t want Merlot. It is too dry and when beverages are that dry, I always feel like the moisture from my gums will be sucked out, causing my teeth to loosen and tumble down my throat in my sleep. “Nope. I can’t feel my teeth as it is ma’am…Just give me a Jack & Coke”. The time on the clock, on my phone, in my purse read 9:01 a.m. LMAO “We don’t have coke, is Pepsi ok?” UUUGGGH hell no, Pepsi with Jack. That’s like powdered milk with cereal, crunchy peanut butter on softbread, unsweetened ice tea. These are the thoughts whoch were passing thru my brain. So I drank that Jack and Pepsi, all while watching our gate to see when we needed to board.
Onehour and about 11 minutes later, we were touching down in our second home area of Dallas, TX. Honey had arrived at the airport, ready to scoop us. The day was about to take an interesting turn. In fact, it’s so much to share, so let the bullet points begin:
We paid the toll at the airport-Only airport that I’ve ever been to, where a toll must be paid.
• We drove into a seemingly uninhabitated area looking for a lighter
• Mitchum deodarant
• Ched R’ Peppers
• Wow this room rocks
• “wanna sit at the pool?” No
• Insert many small arguments between the Honey and I
• “Let’s eat”
• Taco Café’. End of story
• Liquor store across from the Cowboy Bailbond
• I was cussed out for trying to buy cheap, experimental liquor, loudly. VERY LOUDLY.
• “Just get E&J”
• BLUR
• BLUR
• BLUR
• Rambunctious sleep in the air, sweaty neck mouth open-photo op
• Steamy shower
• A June bug is coming
• Is the “grind” behind a gate, like a Prison?
• Now, imagine, walking into a small establishment and poetry is in motion. Someone, who is so excited to see everyone, finds her brain going from full to half full in a matter of seconds. She’s called to the mic, but gets up headed to the mic before her name was even called. Starts a song off, very, very slow, forgets the words and does a freestyle, church, flowy thing. STOP.
• The night is now taking a turn, down a dead end. Blame that “Easy Jesus”
• A gay club named “Sue Ellens”
• “Fine, then, I’m single. You’re single. We’re all single”
…..actually, I am going to stop now. I am already hoarse from laughing, plus, if I say anymore, bad things will happen. Just know that it was a VERY eventful weekend. I really believe that TV cameras are following me. I just can’t believe that I am real person sometime, and the events which follow me. So let me leave you with this:
1. I have decided to learn to River Dance-I feel that my TV show needs new material
2. Sometime, your brakes can be metal to metal and “catch a fire”
3. Somepeople are mean in their sleep, like you may try to put your leg on them and they scream “No” and kick you in that same leg. LOL
4. The Buccees in Madisonville, TX has EVERYTHING. I got the H1N1 shot, a side of Pearbutter, crushed ice, a tattoo and a shirt with an embroidered “E” on it. (hahaha, this is a lie)
5. Live-Live-Live: No matter what happens, live. Learn from your mistakes, but then laugh about them. I assure you if it were someone else doing something stupid, you would laugh.
Be Well